Life Starts Here
by devilsgenie
Summary: Bella moved to So. Cal. with her longtime boyfriend Edward. Sadly after being with him for over three years, Edward has broken up with Bella and moved on. Now Bella has to figure out who she will become with the help of her friends and a mystery man.
1. Reality

Okay so this is my first story on here so... take it easy on me yea? hope you all like it :)

The song for this chapter is "Reality" by: Staind

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I glanced at my cell phone for what felt like the millionth time in the last 20 minutes . . . _4:50 pm _and all I had to show for today was hours of sleep and studying. It was my day off from work and I had, recently, purposely made myself a social outcast. I had nothing to do on a Friday night other than to attend my belly dancing class, keep studying, or get online and chat. Yet, somehow, I didn't think I'd find anyone worthwhile to talk to when I was on.

It's funny. I moved away from home when I was with my boyfriend Edward; swearing that he was "the one", and that we would always be together, get married, and the whole nine. Then after being with him for almost three years, he tells me that he's fallen in love with someone else. What else could I do other than move out? Thankfully we had gotten so many things together that he agreed he'd buy me a new bed since he was keeping our old one. _Pathetic life of mine_, I thought. More than 1,000 miles away from my family and, quite honestly, I didn't want to move back home. I hate to admit it, but the city of Long Beach had grown on me in a way that I never thought would happen with any town or city in Southern California.

I got myself an apartment near school, well, both schools I attended in Long Beach, their city college and their university. Now that I had WAY more time on my hands because I turned into a social void, and because I was alone, I had nothing but school and my job to clutch on to for stability. I had nothing to show for my new found freedom except a laptop which my now ex-boyfriend got me last Christmas and my new bed.

That was when I started to feel really pathetic. He kept our dog and our old place, along with our car and our furniture; telling me that whoever she was, she'd be moving in with him soon and would be sleeping in our old bed. My old bed. Bastard_._ As for the dog, he could keep her; I'd make sure that when I could, I'd get myself a beautiful Rottweiler that it would adore me, not like this little traitor. That's what I started to call her at the end and, really, I felt bad about it. She didn't know, nor did she choose sides, though I thought she had made her choice the moment she first looked at him.

I reassessed my thoughts and well, ok, so I'm really not a social void. I had my best friend attending Fresno State and my new roommate, a wonderfully beautiful, smart, and popular girl named Rosalie. I called her Rose because she didn't mind it and because I could. For some reason we got along really well, even though I was sure that she could be something like a super model if she wanted to. We were both nursing majors. I was going for specialty nursing, but I also wanted to do travel nursing since I had nothing to hold me back, not to mention having cut the cords from my family ties. I mean, don't get me wrong. I absolutely adored my family and one day would love to go back home and start a family and all that good stuff. But I finally realized that if I live in my pigeon hole my whole life, then I'll never be able to see the wonderful things that life had to offer me. I logged on to chat. What a big waste of time.

I thought about myself. Not that I wasn't pretty, I knew that I wasn't totally unfortunate looking. But I craved more than just a physical attraction, more than great sex. I wanted to find what I was promised . . . a mate. Not just any mate, a man made just for me; with the same likes and dislikes, the same musical taste, and so on. Or even just a man who would adore me for being me and we could take care of the rest later.

I clicked the 'next' button on my MP3 player, no use in dwelling on things that didn't exist. Plus, I needed to get in the mood. Did I mention I was a social outcast who had too many extra curricular activities? Not to mention a full time job and going to school full time, if you combine both schools? I had belly dancing lessons on Friday, and on Thursday nights, I took Latin dance where they teach different styles of dance like Salsa, Cumbia, Merengue, Bachata, and the newest Reggeaton. The instructor and I were, I guess you could say, friends. We met at the Salsa dance club at school and she asked me to help her with class. In return, I could be her student for the dances I didn't know and not have to pay for the class.

I took up belly dancing again after a while of not doing it. I tried learning it from a friend back home who was taking belly dancing, but then I moved away _. . . _stupid! There I go again. Anyway, my ex had always said how he thought that it was so sexy that I belly danced, that he wanted me to take it up again. Now here I was, three and a half years later finally taking it, only because I wanted to and I liked it, not to impress him like I had thought of doing.

I glanced at my cell phone again, 5:45 p.m., I needed to get going_._ I logged off; none of my friends were online. Fellow nerds like me, the people that I could sometimes be myself with and then it would become a little too complex. I got up, grabbed my gym bag and headed out for the garage. The best thing about breaking up with my ex was that I had all this extra money, so I decided to get myself a new car; the new lower prices on a new car had been ridiculous. As I came out of the garage in my pride and joy, a brand new dark red Tahoe with all the extras I could dream of, I looked to the front of the complex only to find my ex buzzing my apartment. Before I could think of anything else, I pulled out and took off. Not a minute later my cell phone began screaming at me . . . _I HATE YOU . . . SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!_ Gosh that ringtone really fits my thoughts toward him.

"Hello?" _Thanks, whoever invented Bluetooth,_ I thought to myself, while answering with extreme nonchalance.

"Hey it's me, are you free to talk for a bit?" he asked. _It's you? Who the hell else would it be? You know I have a ringtone for everyone I know… dumb ass._

"Um, not exactly. I'm on my way to class, so you can have the 5 minutes it takes me to drive there." _That's right, you're in control, and he no longer owns your ass!_ I thought, letting my confidence overcome me.

"Oh . . . I had sorta been hoping that I could meet up with you somewhere so that we could talk in person . . ." he trailed off in the last words. W_hat? Why do you wanna talk in person, you broke MY heart!_ I really couldn't talk to him with my brain yelling these things in my head.

"Well sorry, I have a strict no chatting or hanging out with ex's policy and so far to be honest it's worked well." I replied with amazing confidence. _It worked well the last oh 7 months, why not now?_ I thought.

"C'mon, don't be that way . . . I really need to talk to someone who knows me well . . ." Again, he trailed off. _And who the hell am I all of a sudden, your personal shrink?!_

"You have your mother who quite honestly tells me that she speaks to me more than she talks to you, maybe you should give her a call because I wasted three years on you just so that you could break my heart, or did you already forget that ever so easily?" I replied, feeling the anger rising in my voice. I loved his mom so I could never muster up the courage to ask her not to talk to me anymore, so we had just compromised that we wouldn't talk about **him** anymore.

"Please, I need someone who understands me, not like . . ." he almost whispered.

"NOT LIKE HER?!" I literally yelled, "Well that would be because I'm not her! And oh look at that, I've arrived. Talk to someone whose heart you haven't broken, maybe they'll listen more than I'm willing to." And just like that I pressed the little button on my Bluetooth that ends the phone call.

_Do you smell that?_ I thought to myself, _the fragrance is called revenge, smells sweet don't it?_


	2. Moving On

Okay i know that i'm updating quickly, it's just that i wanna be up to speed with what i have on twilighted... anyway here's ch.2

main song for this chap. is 'Moving On' by: Mya

thanks for reading :)

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Moving On

I got back home a little after 9:00 p.m. and Rose was home, the bathroom light was on so I could only assume that she was going out, you know since she had a life and I didn't want one.

"Hey Rose, I'm back," I called out to her.

"Hey missy! We need to talk! Like NOW!" she yelled back. _Uh-oh. Was I in trouble for something? Wait but what did I do?_ I thought.

I peeked into her bathroom, "What's up?"

"You know, you could've at least warned me that your Edward was going to be here when I got home. I almost had to call the manager on him because he SWORE he needed to talk to someone, and since I don't really know him I told him to try some of his friends," she finished.

"Look, Rose . . . I didn't really think that he'd be here by the time you got home, plus I figured that he doesn't know you so he wouldn't even try to bother you. I'm SO sorry hon. I really am," I groveled.

"Well when I got home, he thought you were with me… he doesn't know about your new baby does he?" she asked, and the curiosity was more than obvious on her face.

"Why the hell should he have to know about my new car? He is no concern of mine and I should be no concern of his," I answered with confidence while slowly feeling the anger rising in me.

"So, do you think that he's having problems with the new girl? Or do you think that he's just looking for a reason to look for you?" she asked, almost as if she was looking into my mind and asking the questions that I had.

"Well, I really don't know and don't care. I mean, he didn't think twice to break my heart and dump me on the side of the road, did he? Now I'm the one who couldn't give a rat's ass about what's going on with him. I mean, you know what they say about karma . . ." I finally finished my speech.

"Wait a minute. I finally see it. You don't love him anymore! WOW, after months of wondering, I finally see it along with a new attitude… you know what this means right? You're ready to start looking!" she finished with the gleam in her eyes more than obvious.

"Okay, only you and Alice can see through me like that. I really feel bad about being evil to him, but I don't want him to think that what he did to me was okay and that it would be okay to do to someone else. I realized that I don't hate him, but I've also realized that doing everything I do has helped me to get over what happened to me. I mean, I knew that we were drifting apart when we were together, I just didn't wanna see it and face the music. His mom really helped me figure out my feelings. Oh, speaking of his mom . . . um . . . she's coming down Valentine's Day weekend to hang out." I finished the last words waiting for the monsoon to begin at any given moment.

"That's cool! Do you think that I can hang out with you guys and make it an all girls weekend? I don't have a steady boyfriend right now and I don't want to spend it with just any shmoo," she replied. _Wait what? She wants to hang out with us? What happened to getting back on the ol' horse?_

"Yeah, that'd be great! I'll buy popcorn and goodies and we can all go together to the movie place to rent a couple of flicks," I replied. I was beaming! My roommate wanted to hang out with me. Not only that, but she didn't want to force me to do something that I wasn't ready to do.

"Alright. Well, go shower before I force you to come out with me tonight!" she teased me.

"Don't worry, I'm on my way!" I screamed on my way up the stairs to my area.

After coming out of the shower, I assessed myself in the mirror; I tended to do this a lot lately, trying to figure out what I didn't have or how I wasn't even slightly pretty. Even though my mom had named me Isabella, I definitely was not Italian. I looked like I was half albino because I lived near the beach and was pale to the max! I also have big chocolate brown eyes, full lips, and of course, my dad's wavy dark brown hair. I mean, don't get me wrong. When it comes to my physical features, I'm not ugly. I mean, I have curves, not the ridiculous kind. I had the right amount of meat in the right places so I mean, that ought to attract people of the opposite sex from time to time, no?

I remember almost wanting to hate my parents when I was younger because of the big mistake I thought they had made when they made me and my brother Emmett. They had always been good looking. I mean, think about it - a girl with a weird last name like Swan (I mean really? What kind of last name is that?). Anyway, I had totally unnaturally ordinary brown eyes, regular brown hair, almost albino skin, and an unremarkable body. Then in middle school, as if life wasn't bad enough as it was, just add on some braces in 8th grade . . . yeah a class 'A' nerd. I now began to remember a boy I had a crush on, Tony. He was Italian and had the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen. Unfortunately, he, like every other boy in my school, would rather date the girls who were blossoming like roses in the spring as opposed to my awkward and ungraceful changing. Needless to say that I didn't have my very first boyfriend, Jacob, until my senior year of high school. _How pathetic_, I thought to myself.

Okay, so let's fast forward to when I met Edward. It was the second semester of college. I, of course, had come out of my shell just a tiny bit by that point. I mean, I would talk to guys and had friends, but I also was messing around in school and not really paying attention. I was becoming a social butterfly without really having developed a sense of style. Anyway, a bunch of my new college friends had invited me to this party out in the boons. Apparently one of them thought that I had a thing for him and so he was going to try and hit on me that night. His plans were thwarted by the man who stood in front of me and was actually making me laugh. Me, who almost never let my guard down and never looked as eased as I looked at that moment. After that night, it had been all about Edward; the guy who did all the right things at the right time.

We had a long distance relationship for a year before he asked me to move in with him. He was attending Long Beach State and he wouldn't be done for another couple of years and he was pretty sure that he didn't wanna go home after finishing school. To be honest, the thought of moving away from a small town sounded great to me while sounding totally terrifying. Everything had been amazing when we lived apart. We would have romantic weekend getaways and I would get all these great surprise gifts in the mail, and then we moved in together and everything changed. We both worked and studied, and of course didn't have as much time to hang out and be romantic. Then slowly but surely, we began drifting apart and, of course, he blamed it on my studying habits and my erratic work hours.

I suddenly heard a soft knock on my door. "Hey Bells, it's me, are you ready to go yet?" Rose asked in her most innocent voice.

"What? Go out where? I thought I was staying home while you went out?" I finished. _Why is she doing this to me?_ I thought.

"Look, I figured you have a new attitude, I got some clothes that actually compliment your figure, not like the crappy clothes that you wear, so that you may actually meet someone that's worth your time and . . . I found out who his girlfriend is and it just so happens that her sorority is throwing a huge bash tonight. Please do this for me . . ." she begged. _Funny how quickly I figured out who she was talking about._

"Rose, I don't wanna cause anyone any trouble. Please don't make me do this . . . plus I haven't spoken to Alice in forever and she's gonna kill me if I don't call her soon." I made yet another excuse.

"Alice isn't gonna trip off of it because she already knows. I called her and we chatted for a while and I told her my plan." She sounded happy. The big mistake I made… bringing Alice over and making those two friends.

"Fine. But I'm not doing anything I don't want to, okay? This means no forcing drinks on me and especially no forcing guys on me. OKAY?" I sounded confident again.

She sighed, "Okay, I guess I'll just have to suffer by entertaining cuties . . ."


	3. Girl Fight

Okay, so it's finally here and sorry for the delay.

this chapter was mostly inspired by Brooke Valentine "Girl Fight". Enjoy.

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Girl Fight

We arrived to this huge house and it was almost like those houses in the teen movies with the huge Greek letters in the front and everything. Of course Rose knew so many people that everyone was asking who her 'new' friend was. It was sorta fun seeing people do a double take on me when she mentioned that I was her roommate. I walked into the house, I needed a beer, I walked up to the bar and got our drinks when I saw them together and she couldn't be any more different for him. It was like she was Beverly Hills and he was Forks… I turned and tried to avoid him from seeing me.

"BELLA…" I heard somewhere behind me… _too late!_ My brain set off and I took off. Just at that moment I totally ran into some guy's back full force, I took a couple of steps back as he turned around.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that…" I trailed off_. What the hell is wrong with this guy_? _He's just staring at me like I'm something to eat_… I thought.

"No problem, are you okay?" His voice almost boomed, it was so deep and I nearly jumped in the process.

And before I could reply to him, I heard a voice familiar behind me. "There you are, didn't you hear me call you?" I turned and sure enough there was Edward doing a tough guy look to this guy I just smacked into.

"Yes Edward, I did hear you and I don't want to talk to you, so clearly I'm avoiding you. I don't care to talk to you, so if you'll excuse me, you've interrupted this conversation that I was just having," I replied. Again I had amazed myself at this new found confidence that I had. I turned my back to Edward to see this guy was still standing behind me looking, no not looking, staring at me.

"I'm sorry, you were saying before you were interrupted?" I asked.

"Oh uh, I just wanted to know if you were okay, it felt like you smacked into me pretty hard," he said, the concern being obvious in his voice.

"Me, oh yeah, I've smacked into harder things before," I said as my voice was beginning to lighten up.

"I'm sorry you must think I'm so rude. I'm James by the way." His smile seemed to make his face look completely different.

"Oh, well nice to meet you James, I'm Bella," I said, shaking his hand.

"Wow. You have a sturdy handshake," he said with a smile.

"Well I work in a hospital and I have to shake people's hands all the time," I replied.

"A hospital, really? Are you a doctor or a nurse? Look, I'm sorry to be so forward but do you maybe want to go outside where there are less people? I just don't fancy the gentleman who wanted to talk to you giving me the evil eye," he finished. _Fancy? Is he British or something? Gentleman? Wow_... I thought again.

"Oh sure. By the way, you don't have to worry about Edward. He's just upset because I'm avoiding him… long story and I don't wanna bore you with that," I answered quickly. We passed Rose on the way out, as I handed her a beer she gave me thumbs up, I stuck my tongue out at her and she laughed. "And to answer your question, I'm actually going to school as we speak to become a nurse. I currently work in the hospital as a phlebotomist and basically take any shift that I can take. So needless to say, I'm a pretty busy person."

Just a few minutes after we had sat down, a girl walked up to us. I looked at James to see if he knew her or if it was his girlfriend or something, but he stared back at me with the same question in his eyes. Finally I put two and two together; she was Edward's new girlfriend. G_reat, I can avoid him but doubt she'll let me avoid her._ I thought.

"Hi, I'm sorry but can I help you?" I asked her as politely as I could.

"Yes, I believe you know my boyfriend Edward. I just wanted to let you know to leave him alone. He and I are quite happy and don't need anyone like you tearing us apart." She looked like she was finished.

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm too forward or rude to you, but you may want to just simply check your facts before going off on someone. I believe that you were the one who broke what Edward and I had, and I am obviously not trying to get him back or for that matter even trying to talk to him ever again. You can keep him because I don't deal with cheaters. I don't think that you two are quite happy. And if you are, then you really should ask him to stop looking for me and asking me to talk to him because he can't talk to you," I finished and then noticed that a couple of people had surrounded us expecting a fight. I noticed that Rose had come by my side in case someone decided to get crazy. I also noticed Edward showing up to the crowd to check out what was going on.

"Edward, I really think that you need to let your girlfriend in on the secret of who you really are because I think that she'd under the God awful assumption that you are a saint. And, well, we both know otherwise." Now I was just having a good time.

"Is this true Edward? Did you go looking for her?" she asked, the chagrin showing on her face.

"Victoria, baby, we'll talk about this when we get home. Now please leave Bella alone," he said.

"You said she was bashful and mousy and well, not at all like what I see," she said.

"Oh don't worry. This is all due to the fact that I'm free of the venom that was our relationship, right Edward?" I smiled and raised an eyebrow at him. _Yes, revenge does smell quite lovely,_ I thought with a smile.

"Bella, you're breaking my heart by being someone that you know you're not," he said looking hurt.

"Edward, you broke my heart when you went and cheated on me all the while you claimed to love me. I think I win. Oh, by the way. This," I point at myself knowing it's not all true, but in the inside the new me reigns. "IS in fact the new me and guess what? She doesn't love you anymore. I am finally free of you and am so sorry that your mother has a sorry excuse for a son. Goodnight!" I finished. I looked over my shoulder at Rose, then looked at James and mouthed an apology.

"Bella, do you think that I can have your number? I would love to keep talking to you," he asked very sweetly.

"Sure, James. I'd love to keep talking to you WITHOUT interruptions," I replied, knowing that Edward could hear us.

After I exchanged numbers with James, I watched Victoria and Edward leave with a more than obvious scowl on their faces and I was more than ready to leave with Rose. The car ride home was quiet since I knew she was a little upset because our 'partying' had been cut short due to 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith', or at least that's what I started to like to call them. We arrived in our apartment, Rose tapped the couch as she sat down. _Oh no! This is going to be a long night,_ I thought as I sat down.

"Look Rose, before you say anything else, I want to say thanks for having my back and sorry for cutting our night short." Again, I groveled.

"No silly! That's not what I want to talk about," she said with a smile on her face. "I just wanted you to know that you were awesome tonight and I'm not sure if even I would have the guts to do what you did. I'm proud of ya kid! I just also wanted to tell you that this new attitude should also come with a brand-new wardrobe! Let's go shopping; I swear to not make you wear anything over the top or too skimpy, I just want to see you start wearing clothes that actually go with your figure."

"You know what Rose, I think you're right. I think that the 'Bashful Bella' should be buried along with the relationship with Edward and you know what? While we're shopping for clothes, we might as well get me some new shoes and make-up. What do ya say?" I replied as calmly as I could.

"I think that you're the best roommate that anyone could ever ask for!" she exclaimed as she reached out for a quick hug. "Now let's go to bed because I want you all nice and rested up for your day tomorrow! OH! And don't forget to wear comfy shoes when you get dressed!"

Okay, so I never mentioned why I had more money besides the fact that well I had more money since Edward and I broke up. The other reason I had more money now was because Rose's parents are apparently very well off and very nice. For the first couple of months, Rose and her parents didn't let me pay for rent. I bought my own food (of course they were more than willing to pay for that too) so that was the only thing I spent money on, $100 dollars every two weeks or so on food. Needless to say that after 3-4 months, I had quite a bit of money. Thankfully I also gained an awesome friend which, in time, I began to learn that I had way more in common than most people. Then when I began trusting Rose a lot more I figured that it would be time to have my best friend come and visit. What I did not foresee was that Rosalie and Alice would also become good friends. Depending how one would look at the situation it could be a good thing or a very bad one. In my case, I found it as a very bad thing because now those two could conspire against me and I wouldn't even know about it!

That night I laid in my bed thinking about everything I had said and whether I meant that or not. I thought about how Edward looked at me and then how everyone else looked at me and truthfully, I liked it. I liked being noticed. It felt good how people stared or took double takes when looking at me. I liked how some guys were looking at me like I was the forbidden fruit and not only that, but I loved that my new 'look' helped my new confidence because I knew that I wanted to bury "Bashful Bella" forever. Along with that, never let a guy do what Edward did to me ever again.


	4. Friends

Thanks to everyone who reads and reviews... although i do have to say that for the amount of people who read, don't review. Tell me your thoughts! i swear i don't bite... unless you're Rob or Kellan but that's another story! Twilighted has LOTS more reviews that you guys do so i think that i'm going to be cruel and not update until as many of you leave me reviews... trust me we'll both be happy in the end!

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Friends

The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face, it had been the first time in almost a year that I had slept dreamlessly and finally felt that I had gotten a good night's sleep. I got dressed and ready to attack the mall when I caught the scent of Alice's home made muffins.

_It can't be her, _I thought as I ran down the stairs to find my very best friend in my kitchen with her arms out ready for my embrace and my chamomile tea ready for me on the counter.

"When did you get into town?" I asked her totally flabbergasted while she gave me a devilish grin.

"Well I dunno if Rose told you that we spoke last night but basically it had all been decided last night. Now enough about my trip! I heard that you met a guy last night so SPILL!!!!" She nearly squealed with the last words.

I helped Alice into the living room with the muffins and our drinks and I was about to start to give her a whole rundown of what had happened when out of Rose's room blasted a song,

_Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it  
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it  
don't be mad once you see that he want it  
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it  
_

She came out of the room like a runway model and stopped right in front of us, turned her head and with a totally serious look said,

"I am Rosa fierce!"

Alice spit her tea out because it was either that or to wait to have it come out of her nose and I ever so ungraciously proceeded to choke on my muffin and then tried to cough and laugh at the same time. After our fits of laughter subsided, we wiped our eyes from the laughter tears. The song ended and Rose sat down with mock anger in her face.

"I really don't see how me being serious is funny to you two," she said pretending to sound upset.

"Rose, do you even realize how random that was? And the way you walked out and said it was just simply classic!" I giggled at the end remembering the whole scene. "Maybe you should do it again but I should have my camera this time so that I can record the whole thing!"

"I was pretty good huh?" she said finally putting the façade aside.

"Pretty good doesn't even cover it!" Alice said, "Did you see how far I spit out my tea?"

"I know, you're gonna have to clean my house up now!" Rose said throwing a cleaning rag at Alice, and Alice replied by sticking her tongue out at Rose while I laughed at their exchange.

"Okay girlie, you need to tell me without anymore interruptions what happened last night and who this guy is who you exchanged numbers with because I'm practically dying to know!" Alice said totally ignoring Rose.

"Alright…" I said with mock defeat, "So Rose convinced me to go to this party at a sorority house which just so happens to be the one where Edward's girlfriend is pledged at which, by the way, before I go on, they can't be anymore wrong for each other. If you ask me he's like a total Forks boy and she's like one of those Beverly Hills girls… anyway back to my story. Well Rose convinced me to go with the awesome new outfit that she got me that, quite honestly, looks pretty damn good on me if you ask me! So we get there and I realize that I'm gonna need a drink if I plan to face Edward at all, so I make my way to the bar when I hear him call my name. I grabbed both Rose's beer and mine and make a run for it when all of a sudden, I smack so hard into this guy's back that I had to step backward from the impact. When he turned around it had been like he was looking at me like was his favorite kind of food or something. That's when Edward caught up with me. So I tell him that I don't wanna talk to him at all and to go bother his girlfriend when I figured I'd keep talking to this guy.

"So he asked me if I wanted to go talk to him outside where it would be a little quieter and on the way out I give Rose her beer and I keep walking with this guy. Oh, by the way, his name is James. So James and I find a seat when this girl approaches us and then I think, shit of course he's got a girlfriend! It's not like he's bad looking or anything but just as I was about to tell him I had the wrong impression about him being single I glanced at him and he was looking at me with the same puzzled face that I probably had, and then it hit me! This chick was Edward's new girl. Sure enough she starts goin' off about how I need to leave Edward alone because I don't see how happy they are and so on. I let her finish because I'm not rude like that, but then I gave her a piece of my mind and then some about how Edward was looking for me and if they were really happy then he wouldn't have to be doing that.

"Right then the devil himself showed up and I also noticed that not only James had stood up, but Rose stood next to me. I imagined people were expecting a fight. I was just happy to let her know how much of an evil, dirty shmoo that Edward is when he asked her to leave me alone. I not only made it a point to get James' phone number in front of Edward since James figured that I was probably gonna leave the party, but I also made it a point to make sure that Edward knew that the change in me was permanent. After that, Rose and I got home and I have decided that there will be no more 'Bashful Bella' after last night and we were or maybe still are gonna go shopping for a new wardrobe, and make up to match the new attitude." When I finished I saw the proud look on my friends' faces and realized that they were both proud of the fact that I had finally moved on.

"So when are you gonna call him?" Alice asked practically jumping outta her seat and settling with a bounce right next to me.

"I dunno. I was kinda gonna leave it to wait for him to call me, you know?" I said. "It's just that even though I know that I'm way beyond over Edward, I just don't wanna barge into a new relationship for all the wrong reasons."

"You're right girl, get to know him and let him get to know you and then y'all can see where it all goes" Rose said finally.

"WAIT! Before we go anywhere or do anything, you gotta tell me what you were wearing last night and you gotta describe to me what this James character looked like!" Alice practically gushed at me.

"Fine but quickly before Rose gets angina or something!" I blurted out as Alice and I cracked up. "Okay, so Rose got me this amazing little outfit that was sexy and not slutty at the same time. She got me a dark red corset and a black pair of Capri's with these awesomely cute little shoes; I'll have to show you how they look on later. Now from what I remember James was around 5' 10" or so, caramel skin, soulful blue eyes, full lips, nice muscles you know? Not too burly and not small either and his smile seemed somehow to be able to totally change the way his face looked. It musta been probably because of his super cute dimples but I mean I can't remember that much, mainly what I really remember was the way that he looked at me…" I trailed off.

"Well you're gonna have to see him again in order to give us a full low down on how he dresses and how he looks, right Rose?" Alice said making it sound like it was a homework assignment or something.

"Oh yeah, we need to know if this boy is worthy of our girl!" Rose said this time fully sounding bored but feigning interest.

We took off in my new baby which Alice hadn't seen yet, so she was stoked to be in my new ride. Rose insisted that we drove to West L.A. and go to the more expensive shops and malls in Beverly Hills, Westwood and the surrounding areas; after trying on different clothes, shoes and finding the perfect shades of make-up for each of us, I dragged the girls to this awesome Mongolian BBQ place in Westwood that Edward had once taken me to. After we ordered our plate and picked everything we wanted on it, we settled into our seats to wait for our food and for Rose to get her bum out of the restroom. In the meantime, Alice and I began to remember how different things were in high school, how we were different (she was a pretty and bubbly popular girl and I was her shy nerdy friend), looked different, and dressed different. Alice all through the years always made fun of the huge sweats that I had for P.E. and I reminded her how she used to always try and force me into tank tops and shorts.

Now that I looked at Alice I noticed how much that she had changed, very slightly physically. I mean she was always beautiful and has always had the most full and beautifully short pixie style hair that I've ever seen but mainly it had been in her way of dressing and style in general. Now she had highlights in her almost black hair, dressed in clothes that always flattered her figure and complimented her complexion that she always looked classy much like her boyfriend, Jasper, who other than introducing himself, preferred to be called Jazz. It seemed like he was always wearing the latest styles all the while mixing it with nicer clothes and always managing to look amazingly classy and cool at the same time, almost like the GQ type models. Alice & Jasper met their freshman year at Fresno and it felt to me like they hadn't really dated much because they were just waiting for each other, I mean a lot of guys in high school wanted to date Alice and it seemed like she knew something better was going to come along so she never even bothered.


	5. Gettin' by With a Little Help

Hey everyone, sorry for the wait. RL really got in my way... Here's a quick recap of what's goin' on if anyone cares... LOL I moved out of Long Beach, back into my hometown of Salinas in the Monterey Bay. Got a new (old) job, had to get a caudectomy (tail dock) on my dog Josie and recently became involved with Project Team Beta on LJ and Twilighted. Yeah, i've been busy but i kinda like it that way. Anyway, here's the Chap. Oh and before i forget stay on the lookout for a new story ppl. In my opinion, it's better than this one.

Disclaimer: Don't own it, although i do have a great friend who Laurent is based from :)

* * *

Getting by with a little help…

On the drive home it seemed that the girls decided that they wanted me to call James and go out with him; the sooner, the better... but I just wanted to be with my friends. So, as always, I stalled… I always go to this coffee shop in Long Beach and I became fast friends with one of their baristas; he's tall, dark and very handsome but he's gay -which is fine because that means that he's not the asshole that people think he may be because he's cute. So I offered the girls a cup of coffee in exchange for some wisdom words from my new barista friend Laurent. As they took up my offer I figured that I would have some time to devise a plan that I'm sure that Laurent would only be more than happy to help me with; he had always told me since I met him that I was too pretty to hid behind hideous clothes because apparently he says that my clothes should be helping my body in to make a statement.

We arrived and I thanked my lucky stars that he was working! We got in line and when we get to the front, the girls and I ordered and I asked to have a word with him. As I approached he did a double take; I forgot that I was wearing 'girl' clothes and that I also had make-up on. He told his co- workers that he was going to take a quick 10 and motioned for me to meet him on the other side. The girls gave me an odd look but I waved to them to go on and sit without me.

"What's up girl? I almost didn't recognize you, what with you actually looking like a girl!" he said laughing.

"Laurent, I really need your help, like in a crisis type of help! Let me quickly get you up to speed so you know what's up, okay?" I said in a rush and he nodded. "Okay, so last night Rose took me to this sorority party and I have to admit that it was because she told me that Edward's new girl belongs to this sorority… so I kinda wanted to see what she looked like."

He interrupted me, "You did WHAT?!"

"Look babe, listen to me, it wasn't because I want anything to do with him. But let me get back to my point. I told Edward and his girlfriend off and managed to meet someone all in one night!" I explained. "But here's the problem, I dunno what to do?! I mean, should I do what the girls say and call him? I know I like him, but I don't know if I like him enough to call him and sound desperate, you know? I'm just freaking out I don't want another relationship yet; I'm not ready!"

"Okay honey… calm down first, here's what you do. Invite me to your table and we can start talking to the girls as a team and then you won't have to do anything you're not ready for. But I will help you with one condition… you have to bring him here for your first date and you gotta make sure that I'm working so that I can give you a rundown of everything later, deal?" He looked at me like I was a child being reprimanded.

So I just sweetly smiled at him and said, "You got it dude!" As I put both of my thumbs up to him.

He let out a huge bellow of a laugh, which totally didn't sound like him and said, "Okay, Michelle!" We walked to the seats with the girls, and they had been nice enough to get my coffee as they waited for me.

As we approached the table, Rose raised her eyebrow at me and said, "Okay… what's your plan?"

I chuckled nervously and said, "Huh? What plan, what are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about missy, now spill! Or else I'll get Laurent here to spill for you…" She threatened. I hated when she did that. I sighed.

"Okay, okay so I asked Laurent to join us because I'm not ready to call James and I don't wanna seem desperate. That's why he came… because he figured he'd help me if I wasn't ready…" I said.

"Well you won't be the first to call him." Alice said cryptically.

"What do you mean?" I asked being the dork that I am.

"What I mean is that he's already called you, see? All you have to do is call him back!" Alice exclaimed.

I looked at my phone and saw that I had 2 missed calls and one voicemail. I looked at the phone number both calls had been from - one number… and I had forgotten to put James' number in my phone yesterday… Comprehension was beginning to dawn on me. Before anyone said anything, I walked out of the coffee shop and listened to my voicemail.

"Hey Bella… it's me, I-I mean it's James… um, I just wanted to see I-if you were doing anything next weekend? I'm stupid, of course you're probably doing something… um, g-give me a call whenever you want okay? O-or text, this is my cell number." He covered the mouthpiece but I could still hear what he says, "_Gosh have I ever sounded so stupid or desperate? Jeez!_ Um… I guess I'll talk to you later. Take care…" I didn't even know what to say… I replayed the message one more time and realized that he sounded so shy, so unsure and I'll be the first to admit that I had no clue of what it meant.

I ran back inside and sat on the seat. I motioned everyone to get in closer and said, "I need help deciphering what this means…"

Everyone listened intently as I played them the message and even played it a second time to make sure that they got everything, and as soon as the message finished the second time Laurent started laughing. I turned to look at him in case he'd just lost his mind when he explained his "reasonable thinking" to me.

"Okay, here's what you didn't hear that I got out of the message… I think you're the cutest thing that I've ever seen and I'm dying to see you again! I'm probably nervous because I've never called a girl the very next day and I hope that you don't think that I'm a freak weirdo for doing this… it's so cute!" he gushed.

Rose raised her eyebrow and looked at Laurent, "I think I might need him around, he's good."

I looked at Rose, "What? Didn't you get all of that? I mean you were Miss 'I know what a guy means even if he doesn't say it'."

She looked at me and then said, "I know, right? But apparently being a guy gives you that much more insight."

"Okay so if I call him back and tell him that next weekend would be great… what do I do after that? Do I seem interested or not that interested? I dunno what to do!" I began freaking out.

"Honey look, calm down okay? Listen and this might sound like common sense to you but apparently whatever you did last night was enough to get him crazy about seeing you again- not only that but crazy enough to have him call you the very next day after meeting him! My advice would be to be yourself and I'm sure things will be great! I mean, you're a great and loveable girl! You just need to find the right guy to figure that out. Let me give you a copy of my schedule so that you can plan to meet each other for your first date here! Be back!" Laurent quickly said before he disappeared.

"So are you excited?" Alice asked me.

"I'm a little scared; I mean I've only dated 2 guys before this and may I remind you that one of those was the guy I thought I was going to marry… I don't have the most experience in the world! And I figured that keeping my heart guarded was the best thing that I could do and now I'm not sure." I said sounding unsure.

"Well I think that Laurent is right, just be yourself fully and if he's worthy of you he'll love you for who you are and not what you do or like or whatever." Rose said.

Laurent came back and handed me a paper with his schedule, "Okay girlie so text me or something when you know what's gonna happen and good luck! Come here and gimme a hug!" He giggled as I leaned in. _This is what great friends are for!_


	6. Little Moments

Little Moments

After we got back to our place, Alice went into her room, the guest bedroom we had, and was going to be in there for a while because she said that she "was going to call Jazz and give him a recap of what had happened". As soon as we walked into the house, Rose had said she was gonna freshen up… so I just made my way upstairs to my private little area and decided to call James back before doing anything else. I took off my shoes and climbed into my bed while the phone rang.

"Hello?" James answered sounding like he had just run a mile just to get to the phone.

"Hi James, it's Bella. I just got your message and wanted to give you a call back." _Shit! I already said too much_ I thought as I finished.

"Great! I didn't know what you were doing so I figured that… um… I'd try and get a date early since I'm sure a girl like you must get a lot of suitors." He said sounding a little shy.

"Ha. Not really but let's just say that last night was the first time I ever wore anything like what I was wearing… So what day were you thinking of wanting to go out?" I asked as I looked at Laurent's schedule.

"Well part of me wants to say that I'd love to see you tonight but I did say next week so would next Friday evening work for you?" He asked very sweetly.

"Um… If you don't mind going out and meeting up around 9:30 or so that night that would be great!" I said.

"Why so late if you don't mind me asking?" he said sounding curious.

"Oh… Well aside from being a big nerd who goes to school full time and works almost full time I also take dance classes. On Thursday nights I take Latin dancing and Friday nights I take belly dancing."

"Wow, you really like to keep yourself busy, don't ya?" He laughed as he finished. "Well tell you what? How about I go with you to your belly dancing class and then we can go wherever you want after."

"Well the thing is that I usually like to get myself cleaned up after class because it is quite a rigorous workout… But you know what? Why not? None of my friends other than Rose and Alice have ever seen me belly dance so… sure!" All of a sudden I felt my confidence gaining.

We talked for a little longer as we exchanged e-mail addresses and screen names. I didn't even know that he had already found my Facebook account so when I asked him he shyly replied that he had already requested me as a friend. After getting off the phone, I jumped into the shower and for the first time in a long time I didn't linger in front of the mirror after getting out… I figured it was because Alice was here and any time I could spend with her I plan on taking advantage of. After getting my pj's on, I grabbed my phone and headed downstairs to see what the other girls were doing. I sat next to Rose to try and catch up to what was going on in the movie they were watching when my phone went off… I have a new text message. As I read the message I groaned.

"What's wrong Bells?" She asked

"I've been called into work to cover for someone." I said as I internally wanted to shoot myself.

"That sucks, why do you have to go in? I mean do you know what happened?" Rose asked with concern or was it curiosity?

"No but I might as well go and get ready. I'll text you when I know about what time I'll be comin' home 'kay?" I told her as I was getting up.

I ran upstairs changed grabbed my work bag, yes I have a lot of bags but I have them for a good reason. Once, I got stranded after work with no clothes it was terrible! Anyway, at that point I decided to put James' number into my phone and then ran out the door. I started to call the hospital (which is what I normally do before I go to work when I get called in to let them know in about how long I'll be) when I noticed that someone was leaning into my car. I approached them with my pepper spray in hand as I ended the call to work. But when I came closer I noticed that the person's figure seemed somewhat familiar. My thoughts immediately went to Edward thinking this would be the only person who would pull this kind of crap but before I said anything I decided to get closer just in case I was wrong.

I noticed as I got closer to my car that the guy standing there was holding something and then I realize that I was tricked! It was James and not only that but now that I noticed my surroundings a lot more I notice that Laurent, Alice and Rose were all standing by the entrance to the garage waiting to see what happened so as I approached James I put away my pepper spray and my cell phone. Clearly, I had been set up, but I had to get to the bottom of how and when my friends pulled this one off…

"Hi" I said as I walked up to him.

"Well hello there, beautiful phlebotomist! I believe that these are for you," He said as he handed me a bouquet of an assortment of purple flowers and some lavender (which is, by the way, my favorite scent and flower.)

"Thanks! They're great, which one told you that I love lavender?" I asked with a laugh.

"Actually I didn't really need them to help me as much as I thought I would have, your Facebook account really helped me!" He smiled at me.

"So I guess since I'm really not going to work tonight, as I thought, do you want to come in and watch a movie with us…" I turned my head and yelled, "SPECIALLY NOW THAT LAURENT HAS DECIDED TO JOIN US FOR ONCE!"

"Excuse me girlie, but do you know how hard it was for me to get this all set up for you?" He said from somewhere in the distance while I laughed.

"Alright then," James said. "Let's not keep them waiting." And then he leaned in and gave me a kiss in the cheek.

It had been something so out of the ordinary that I, for some stupid reason, touched my cheek after he did it. It had been meant perhaps as a sweet gesture, but to me it was also an intimate one. I could feel my cheeks paint a deep red as I blushed on my pale skin tone. We all walked back into the house in silence and I'm sure someone was waiting for me to blow up on them… but aside from being surprised I was quite happy about my predicament because I knew and my friends knew that if I wasn't pushed then things would move at glacier speed because of my hesitation. I told James to grab a seat and went upstairs to change back into my pj's when Laurent barged into my bedroom.

"Excuse me! Do you know how to knock?" I said as I covered myself.

"Oh please, honey, remember that I'm not physically attracted to you! And now that we've put that aside I quickly need to gush to you before I go back to composing myself." He said with excitement.

"Alright what do you want to gush about that you couldn't wait for me to change into some clothes?" I asked as I threw on my clothes.

"Okay so you never even had described your delicious man candy to me, and I have decided you need to just go for it! He's really nice too and not homophobic like other guys but really I think it's the way I can be a guy around guys." He explained while giggling like some teenage girl at a boy band concert.

"Honey, don't kid yourself," I said giggling, "But I'm pretty sure that most guys can tell that you're gay from like a mile away!"

"Whatever! Anyway, he's really nice, he's funny and he's cute. Girl, I think that he's a keeper!" he exclaimed.

"Well although I do really appreciate your wonderful insight, I think that I'm gonna take this slowly because I don't want a repeat of my last relationship." I said cautiously.

"You know what? I'm really proud of the fact that you're not really letting any of us really decided what's good for you, you know your heart and I'm glad that you're taking charge." He said with a smile.

After our tiny heart to heart, Laurent and I walked down the stairs arm in arm laughing; I loved being with him because he made it so easy to just be me. As we approached the living room area I noticed that the girls had James submerged in questions, but thankfully he looked like he was having fun answering all the questions. I had also noticed that my flowers were already in a vase in the center of the coffee table. As soon as James saw me, he smiled brightly at me as the girls asked him another question, and then noticed that he wasn't paying attention to them. As I sat between him and the girls, (Laurent sat at the other side of the girls) Rose got up and asked what movie we wanted to watch and motioned for me to get more popcorn. I went into the kitchen and James followed, silently watching at I grabbed another large bowl from one cupboard and two popcorn packs from another.

"Are you going to just stand there and stare, or are you going help me?" I asked him with a smile.

"Well, I was debating what would be better, to watch you from here or to stand right next to you, as I pretend to help you while I watch you…" he said while I slightly blushed again.

"I really need to ask you a question," I said while I pressed the popcorn button on the microwave.

"Shoot" He replied.

"I would like to know your honest intentions with me. I know that this is coming out in not such a great way, but I just need to know before I start letting myself get used to you."

"You know, it's funny that you should ask that," he said, smiling. "Because while you were upstairs with Laurent, your friends were grilling me with questions similar to that, and I think I'll tell you exactly what I told them. For some unknown reason, I feel myself being very attracted to you despite the little history I've known of you and everything. I just want to get to know you better, and I really like you, so I thought that maybe I could hang out with you through the process. And then, regardless of how I feel, you can choose whether we'll remain friends or possibly move our relationship to the next level. I want to leave it entirely to you because I want you to do what's good for you."

I smiled at him and said, "Thanks, that's really the nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me and I can explain a lot more about my past if you just let me. I know that you already were sort of thrown into it, and trust me, no one felt more awkward than I did in between both of you."


	7. Another Night

Another Night

James and I poured the popcorn into the bowls and went back into the living room. The girls and Laurent chose "Pretty in Pink," and I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that any regular straight guy would not willingly want to watch that movie. After saying so, I invited James upstairs to my part of the apartment. I had a small living area, with a TV, a futon for a couch, and a mini fridge, a bathroom and my bedroom.

I offered him a bottled coke as we settled down on the futon to watch TV. There was nothing on worth watching and I finally turned on one of the music stations to play in the background. I began to grill him with questions about where he was from and what he did, and to my surprise we had a lot of things in common (with the exception of the part where he mentioned going to the military right after high school and the part about being from Northern California). He mentioned that he has a brother and a sister and that he's 24 (so he's older, I could deal with that right?). He said he was sort of a nerd when he was in high school, but of course is a lot more popular with the ladies after his muscles became defined and even more so when they found out that he had been in the military for a while now.

I laughed as I told him about my extremely uneventful life, and how Edward had only been my second boyfriend and my first for a lot of things. I told him about my brother and how close we are with my parents. I missed them, but felt I'd gotten over things a lot easier because I wasn't being babied at home.

I even told him about Tony who had officially been the first boy to break my heart because it had hurt much more that we had been friends when he rejected me. I told him about having braces in 8th grade and feeling like I'd never become who I was today. Even though looking back at pictures and family videos I really was quite pretty despite all of those things, my skin was never really bad and I always had really thick, dark, and long lashes. I felt like I was finally fitting in here, and how new the feeling was because I never felt that I fit in because of my odd pale complexion despite having lived in Phoenix (and now in California). Here everything sort of fell into place.

We heard a knock on the stairs and I knew it was Rose. She always did that when I would stay up watching TV to tell me that she was going to bed.

"Hey hon. I just wanted to tell you guys that I just gave Laurent a ride home and that it's a little past 3 am… so take it to your room or something because I don't want you two waking me from my beauty sleep," She turned to go, but popped her head back around the corner. "Oh! And don't forget tomorrow we have lab and we have to talk to Thornburg about that pro-section class after that okay?" She gave me a stern look that even reminded me of Thornburg.

"Yes mom," I laughed. "Now go on and get your sleep."

"I should get going if it's after three. I have class early in the morning too." James said as Rose waved at the both of us.

"Really, what time?" I asked, thinking maybe I'd see him on campus at some point.

"I have class at 10." He said, and I burst out laughing.

"I thought that when you said early you meant like… I dunno… 8 or something." I said after I stopped laughing. I'm sure that I'd never hear the end of that one from Rose tomorrow.

"Well… 10 am is early for me, why what time is does your lab start?" he asked, as we walked down the stairs toward the front door.

"Ha. Class starts at 7:30 and ends at 9:30 then Rose and I usually go to breakfast, and after that we go do our own thing for the rest of the day," I said.

"Sometimes we carpool when I don't have to go to work or to college right after but most of the time because of my schedule we'll both bike there and I'll come back home after to get ready for class or work. I take my baby with me for that." I said as we reached the outside gates of the apartment complex.

"Well that sounds awesome. I hope to see you soon. I'll call you okay?" He leaned in and aimed to kiss my cheek. I heard someone gasp and turned my head only to meet his lips with my own.

The kiss was very sweet, but was cut short by the person who had made the gasping sound. Yup you got it: Edward. There he was, at 3 in the freaking morning, staring at me and James as we shared our accidental first kiss. Before anyone could say anything I told James to go back to the apartment, and I told Edward to leave before I called the cops.

Edward then began this bullshit talk about how he couldn't sleep, or eat or even function without me. He said that he missed the way I folded his clothes for him and put away his stuff when he left it out, and that he missed the way I always seemed to know what he was thinking and how I made dinner and so on. All this time and I hadn't even noticed that he was right. He had looked a lot 'healthier' when I left, which only could mean that he was probably eating fast food on a daily basis.

Edward's rant was interrupted by James walking back toward us. He looked angry, but controlled, and he spoke to Edward in a low menacing voice.

"If I recall correctly it was you, Edward who cheated on Bella. You didn't think twice about tossing her aside like yesterday's toy." He stopped walking and stood at my side, never taking his eyes from Edward's.

"I'm glad you saw that kiss, and if it were up to me it would happen again soon. I don't understand how you could get sick or bored of being with someone like Bella. I know I won't make your mistake." James finished, and then added a curt, "Goodnight Edward," as he took my hand and pulled me back into the apartment with him, leaving Edward outside standing by himself.

As I walked into the apartment I realized I was torn about what had just happened. I told James that I didn't hate Edward for what happened and despite everything I held Edward in a place in my heart that maybe no one else would because he had been my first real love.

I added that I, knew that Edward and I were drifting apart but did nothing about it either and so I also was partially responsible for what happened… not the cheating part, but the falling out of us. James looked at me like I was crazy and asked if I was trying to make excuses just to go back to him because that's what it looked like to him.

I honestly was too tired to fight, and knew I needed to get up early. I told him so, and that i he wanted to stay on the futon stay that was fine. Without even waiting for his answer, I grabbed him some blankets and a pillow and turned to my own bedroom without even say so much as goodnight. I knew that he was right, but I couldn't help feeling like he had no place to say anything! We're not even dating exclusively yet.

I sighed as I finished my nightly routine and climbed into bed. I sighed for the long day I just wanted to fall asleep and forget, and because I knew that tomorrow could be worse.


	8. So Hard to Say I'm Sorry…

So Hard to Say I'm Sorry…

When I awoke to the sound of my alarm early in the morning, I was still upset. I remembered that James had spent the night as his hand caught mine in the morning. He motioned for me to sit as he started speaking.

"I wanted to apologize for last night. It's just that it drove me nuts when you began to defend him and I really didn't know how to react because I've never felt this way about anyone before. I guess I just wanted you to know before we went any further."

"Look James, I really don't know what to think about this whole ordeal so I just think that I'll need some time to think and we can talk about it on Friday when you pick me up for belly dancing." I said as I stood. "Oh! And please don't forget to lock up before you go."

I noticed that his face fell as I descended downstairs and found Rose waiting for me…_ Uh oh… _ I thought.

"Bells, why are you pushing him away?" She asked.

"I dunno. I just feel that things are moving too fast and I'm scared." I said.

"Girlie you know that you deserve to love and be loved, so just let yourself fall… a guy doesn't talk feelings unless they're real, you know that." She said. "Tell ya what? I'll go to class and take notes, and you can stay and talk to him. While you're at it take Alice to the airport so that she can go home too."

I knew that I had lost this round with her so I just nodded as she left the kitchen and headed for the front door. _But what do I say to him? _I thought as I suddenly felt the anxiety take over. I took a couple of deep breaths and headed up the stairs. I still had no clue about what I was thinking let alone what I was going to say to him. When Edward and I fought, no matter what I did, he always apologized or stormed out. I had no experience leading the conversation. I guess somehow I needed to let James know that I really didn't know how to open up, but I wanted to try. As I reached the top of the stairs, James sat up and motioned me to come and sit with him. _Ah crap! _I thought._ Couldn't he just have disappeared while I was downstairs?_

I sat and took a moment before speaking.

"Look, I'm not really good at this, but I want to tell you that I'm sorry for being rude earlier. It's just that even though our relationship fell apart and he cheated, I don't hate Edward. I don't know why, but I just can't bring myself to. I don't want you to feel like you have to hate him because of what happened either." I said in somewhat of a rush despite my pause to collect my thoughts.

"Well, I wanted to say something too," he began. "First, I heard a little piece of what Rose told you about skipping class to talk to me and I'm glad that you decided to stay. I was hoping you wanted to talk things through and depending how things go maybe move up the day of our date…" He trailed off while looking down at his shoes. Not knowing where else to look I stared at them too. "What do ya say?" He prodded. "I'll understand if you say no, by the way."

"No, that's great!" I blurted. "It's just that I also wanted to explain that I've never really talked out an argument, and I don't want you to think that I do what I do on purpose… it's just that I don't know any other way to react, really. So I think that if we want to take this further than just casual dating, then that's the first thing that you have to learn about me so that you can teach me to not do that." I told his shoes.

He silently cupped my chin and lifted my head. I don't know what he was searching for when he looked into my eyes, but when he seemed satisfied in what he found. He leaned in slowly and gave me the most soft and sweetest kiss I've ever had. I don't think that I can even describe the things that it made me feel. It felt like every time I saw Tony all those years ago, my stomach in knots and the hairs in the back of my neck standing up. It was simply perfect and I didn't want it to end, I could spend hours kissing him like that, but sadly it was over too soon.

"I'm sorry but I, um… can we try that again?" I asked meaning _I'm sorry but I wasn't done!_

"Are you asking me to do a full on assault on your mouth?" He asked, his voice dropping a couple of octaves. _Fuck!_

And just like that it was like he totally turned into a lion and totally pounced, pinning me to the futon...

Several delicious kisses later we heard Alice in the kitchen and went downstairs. James excused himself to the restroom and that was when that damn wannabe Tinker Bell attacked!

"So, what was it like?" she asked with that damn knowing smile.

"What was what like?" I asked. I was too damn good at playing dumb!

"The kiss you fool! What was it like? And don't even ask how I know. I just know, okay?" She said while tapping her foot.

"Alice, can you fall in love with someone just by the way that they kiss?" I asked her knowing that with my tone the question was bound to send her bouncing around until someone stopped her.

"OMYGOSHITWASTHATGREAT?" She blurted out, almost permanently damaging my ears.

"Huh? Can you say that a little louder? I didn't hear you. Oh and what the fuck did you just say?" I said laughing.

"Was he really that great? I mean, I had an idea that you two were gonna work things out despite the little speed bump called Blockward." She whispered.

"Wait, you knew something was going to happen and you didn't tell me? Shit Alice! Well can you at least tell me if Edward spent the night outside or not?" I asked. I knew things would somehow get worse.

"Hey girls what's all the commotion about?" James said as he walked back into the kitchen.

"Since I really didn't give you much of a background on my friends, I might as well start now… Alice here is a psychology major in Fresno State which is where she met her boyfriend Jasper. Oh yeah and she _sortaseesthefuture_." I said as quickly as I could.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch the end." James said looking confused. Edward for the longest time thought that I was making up Alice's ability, until her predictions began happening to him. Alice was the one who saw him cheating, so to speak.

"Bells said that I see the future. It's not a big deal but it really comes in handy sometimes." Alice said like she would say that she owned a TV or something. "Especially when people don't wanna tell me whether or not they've been kissed yet!" She said poking at my ribs.

"Really? So how do you see things?" James asked looking interested.

"I really don't know, but things just come. I don't choose when to see things. It's rather annoying sometimes, especially when it happens in class because then I have to ask what's going on." She said with an irritated look. Then suddenly:

_'High-maintenance' means  
You're a gluttonous queen  
Narcissistic and mean.  
Kill me romantically…_

"Crap, crap, crap! Where the hell is my phone?" I yelled as I ran into the living room.

"Who was that?" Alice asked knowing that I have a ringtone for everyone I know.

"It was Rose," I said, suddenly Alice was raising her eyebrow. "Don't give me that look short stuff! Rose picked that ringtone herself." I said as I defended myself.

"What's my ringtone?" James asked looking amused.

"I haven't picked one out for you yet." I explained. "Hold on," I said, while pressing buttons and maneuvering my cell phone like no tomorrow.

"There, you ringtone is all set! Give it a listen" I said. Then played it:

_Earth to Bella  
The world can be an unfriendly place  
So hold your head up  
Do your best to save some face  
It's not so hard  
Just contain yourself and see the second sun  
Escape…_

Alice looked at me almost puzzled and then her eyes did that weird thing when she sees something. James looked at her and then at me, I nodded at his silent question. He was going to ask something when I noticed that Alice's eyes return to normal.

"Let's go or else we're gonna be late," she said with finality in her voice. I never question her when shit like that happens, I just do what she says and ask questions later. We put her bags into my Tahoe, and she asked James to sit in the back, since my SUV has a lot of space he had no problem with it. As we pulled out I saw it: Edward's Volvo arrived at the complex and he was obviously angry. _Shit!_ Next thing I know, my phone goes off again: _I HATE YOU… SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!_ I sighed and answered.

"Hello?" I asked, I had him on speakerphone and Alice knew exactly why.

"Bella, I need to talk to you, where are you?" He sounded like he was gonna go on a rampage.

"I'm on my way to the airport, sorry, won't be back into Long Beach until late because I have a date. Anything you can bother anyone else with?" I asked, pushing the right buttons in the process.

"Damn it Bella! This isn't the time to throw shit back in my face, what the hell was that guy from the party doing in your house?" _Ooh, he's mad!_ I desperately held in my need to burst out laughing at him.

"You wanna know what he was doing there? Well too bad, you lost that privilege more than 7 months ago, why don't you go and be Mr. Control-freak on your Victoria," I said just before I hung up on him once again.

Alice started laughing as soon as I hung up and we joined in. I think that James had only joined in because of Alice's contagious laughter, it's okay, we all laughed and that's all that mattered.


	9. It's My Life

It's My Life

After a long farewell with Alice, I drove James to school since his class began at ten. We still had a lot of time on our hands seeing that we just took off when Alice told us to… but thankfully saved us a ton of grief! After parking behind the pyramid at Long Beach State, James and I began chatting about everything that happened in the last three days. It's amazing that he was so easy to talk to and he reminded me of Laurent in that way. Laurent is so easy to talk to because he lets you say things when you're ready, at your own pace. James is like that too and I love not being forced to talk.

Before we knew it, it was time for James to go to class. Sadly I didn't want my time with him to end, and he never forced me to talk about Edward either. After kissing and trying to figure out when to see each other next, we finally settled on the fact that he'd call me since so far our schedules were conflicted. I finally and reluctantly said goodbye…

I began to drive aimlessly after, not wanting to go home but at the same time not really knowing where to go. I thought of plenty of places, but the only one where I had memories with James. Those memories led back to my place. On the drive back home I remembered that I'd have to talk to Rose about class and other stuff. Just as I thought it, my phone went off: _HIGH MAINTENANCE MEANS YOU'RE A GLUTTENOUS QUEEN…_

"Hey Rose, what's up?" I asked.

"Bells, you need to come home and get this talk with Edward over with. He's here and won't leave unless he talks to you…" She trailed off and sadly I knew there was more I to deal with than just getting my notes from class.

"How long has he been there?"

"Well he just came back, he said he was here earlier but no one was home. Alice right?"

I knew exactly what she meant by that question, "Yeah, Alice warned us and we took off without questions."

"Well come home and get this talk over with so that I won't have to kill him out of irritation." Gosh I loved Rose for that!

"Alright, you guys win. On my way, over and out!" I said as I hung up, I knew that saying this would give Rose something to chuckle about and give Edward something to wonder about.

I took the longest and most difficult way home because if I had to talk to Edward I was going to make him wait for me. Suddenly it came to me, the cryptic message that Alice gave me right before going home… that little bitch knew what was going to happen and gave me a damn cryptic message instead of down right telling me!

Sadly before I knew it I was close to home and I had to brace myself for things to come. Having to talk to Edward was bad enough, and now having to deal with angry Edward was a lot less desirable than being in a lake full of leaches and piranhas. _Oh well, I guess I have to face him some time_ I thought as I put my SUV into park. I sat in my truck for a couple of minutes trying to get my head around what I wanted to say, and what I was actually going to say, about everything. After a couple long minutes I made my way upstairs to finally get to the apartment.

In the hallway, as I got close to our apartment, I heard yelling so I decided to lean in and listen to what was going on before I actually went in, assessing the situation if you will. As I leaned in the predominant voice became clearer, it was Rose and by the sound of it she seemed to be having fun chewing Edward out and probably giving him a new asshole in the process… because that's what, he had become Assward. I got closer and closer slowly, until my ear was pressed up against the door. Rose was telling him about how I'm so much better off without him in my life all together when suddenly there was silence, and knowing that damned cheater he was probably trying to hit on my best friend now that he'd had his fill of what's her name.

I heard footsteps get close to the door and before I could react, the door flew open and my face, specially my nose, met with our stone floor.

"SHIT!" I yelled as looked up at the shoes in front of me, "Hi Rose."

"Ah, fuck Bella! What the hell were you doing up against the door?" Before I could answer she was talking again, "Crap hon. don't move okay. I'm going to go and get the first aid kit. Somehow you've managed to bang yourself up pretty bad." I noticed the sarcasm dripping in her voice and I chuckled.

"So, Rose… how bad do you think it is?" I yelled after her as she walked to our medicine storage under the stairs.

"I don't know yet babe, it looks pretty bad but I haven't really assessed the damage yet." I knew what this meant.

The first time I hurt myself badly while living with Rose, she called me a lot of pet names on the way to the hospital in hopes to make me feel better, and the pet names are starting up again. It would soon be time to share my next bloody story with the staff.

I heard a different set of footsteps as I laid half in and half out of my apartment. I looked up; of course he'd wear his concerned mask. _Ass wipe! _

"What do you want Edward?" I shot him an icy stare from my spot on the floor.

Somehow the constant stream of blood going down my nose and pretty sure coming out of my mouth didn't stop the bitch in me. It also didn't stop the darkness I knew that was coming from making me lose consciousness, before I knew it, the lights went out.


	10. Stand Tall EPOV

Stand Tall (EPOV)

I just stared as she slumped into the floor, almost lifeless. All I wanted to do was to embrace her, kiss her even, to have her give me a chance to explain everything. Mom had said not to, but I just have to try because I know that once the hurt is over Bella can just stop trying to be something she isn't… _something I know she isn't, she couldn't be._ I thought. That sadly, had been part of why I left her. I mean don't get me wrong, she's amazing, smart and beautiful, yet I just need someone who's slightly crazy, spontaneous, and different. What I fell into was into the arms of Victoria, someone totally not who I thought about and yet here I was. I messed up everything I had because of one snotty little rich girl who with everyday I've grown less and less fond of.

"Edward, did you hear me?" Rose's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "We need to take Bella to the hospital, she's losing a lot of blood and I don't want her to have to go through anything more what's necessary." I merely nodded.

We put her in my Volvo and I drove to the hospital. I began to wonder why I was making life so difficult for her; she had more than every right to move on. I left her no choice, and yet I refused to let her go. In many ways I still considered her mine, she knew she was mine. That is, until she met that idiot from the party.

Ever since that day, I've noticed something different in her eyes and I just simply can't put my finger on it. I mean what kind of alternate world am I living in? Bella was supposed to stay the way she was, not turn into my every fantasy! I was surprised when no guy at the party had enough guts to begin dry humping her. I wanted to dry hump her! She looked like she was oozing sex appeal that night in her red corset and those tight black Capri's. The way that the red of the corset mixed with her milky skin and the brown of her hair! Since that night she's been the star of my evening fantasies.

We arrived at Memorial, where she works, since it's the closest hospital to her place. Rose gave the desk nurse a whole stream of words of which I was only able to understand one: hemorrhaging. I couldn't think, much less process, everything that was going on. I just wanted to be with Bella and make sure that she was going to be okay. As I was about to enter the white doors to follow her a nurse held me back saying I needed to go into the waiting room and they'd call me in when she was okay. I hadn't noticed before but Rose had been staring at me, maybe it's because I've just been running on autopilot.

"Edward, I don't know who you think you are, but you can't just barge into Bella's life again and toy with her as if she was your little marionette."

"What are you talking about Rose?" I tried to play it off. She couldn't know how I feel.

"Spare me the bullshit, screw boy! I already said it once, and I'll say it again. If you don't leave Bella to live her life, you will deal with me AND my tire iron." I nodded, just to end this uncomfortable situation.

Twenty minutes later a doctor came in and greeted Rose, he said she had just broken her nose and the bleeding hadn't caused any chemical imbalance in her body, so there had been no need for a transfusion. I followed Rose into the ER where a screen door separated Bella from us. When Rose slid it open, Bella didn't so much as flutter her eyes. Rose sat next to her, whispering and caressing Bella's forehead, brushing any unruly hair from her face. I wanted to be the one doing that, but again I had to remind myself of the somewhat recent events and knew that I needed to lay off. At least that tool wasn't here protectively crouching over her as well.

I don't know how long I had wrapped myself in my own thoughts but before I knew it, I saw Rose from the corner of my eye move and that's when I noticed that Bella was waking up. Even with a broken nose, she was exquisite, with that deep blush like the finest Chianti around… _Jeez! What I'd do to make her blush like that again…_

"Rose?" Her voice croaked.

"Hey Bells, how ya feelin'?" Rose chirped in a voice she certainly hadn't used with me in the last few hours.

"Ugh, I feel like a freight train hit me square in the nose." She giggled; I imagine that it was at the thought of something like that.

"Well, I'm glad to see you quickly coming back to your silly little self. You scared me there for a minute kid."

"You know me Rose, it takes more than a door opening at full speed to stop me!" she said, her voice squealing a bit in the end. Rose laughed, and I again was reminded of how adorable she could be.

"I'm gonna go get you something to drink and call James for you okay? I noticed that he called your cell a little while ago, so I'll just let him know what's going on and he can come right down to see you… and kiss you back to health" she added in the end. Bella blushed the most wonderful shade of pink mixed with red, and I wanted to break this guy's nose for making her blush that way.

As Rose walked out, Bella's eyes followed her and stopped dead when she saw me. I guess she hadn't realized that I had been in the same room, let alone actively listening to their conversation. Her eyes bore into me in a way that almost made me feel uncomfortable. This definitely was not the Bella that I had left seven months ago. She continued to stare at me this way for a while; I finally cleared my throat in order to make her realize what she was doing. She knew. She kept staring as if she was cussing me out with her eyes. Finally, something changed in her eyes and again she was off with the same question.

"What do you want Edward?" Boy was she being blunt tonight.

I was going to answer when I noticed her eyes light up and she began to prop herself up into a sitting position in the bed. Then I saw him, walking with Rose looking concerned and scared. He didn't even see me as he rushed in.

"Bella, are you okay?" He stopped, unsure of how to embrace her. She silently pulled him down to her and touched her nose. He kissed the tip of her nose as softly as he could and smiled down at her. Everything in my field of vision turned red. _I'm going to kill him, I have to kill him! _Played on repeat in my head, and as though she could hear it,Rose stepped in front of me. I hadn't realized it but I was shaking and most likely red. How could she do this to me? She was mine and she knew it! How did she have the guts to just do me like that? I needed to get out. I stood up and Bella looked over at me.

I stood up and Bella looked over at me, "I'm sorry." I said as fast as I could and ran out. I couldn't stay in there; she'd hate me even more if I did something to this guy, but she's mine, and she'll soon realize that and soon enough I'll have her come back to me again…


	11. I don't care

I Don't Care

I awoke feeling like a freight train had hit me square in the nose, with all the impact absorbed there. I saw Rose through the haze.

"Rose?" My voice sounded like it was too dry.

"Hey Bells, how ya feelin'?" Rose chirped.

"Ugh, I feel like a freight train hit me square in the nose." I giggled. I mean if a freight train actually hit you, your whole body would take the impact, not just your nose.

"Well, I'm glad to see you quickly coming back to your silly little self. You scared me there for a minute kid." She looked genuinely worried.

"You know me Rose, it takes more than a door opening at full speed to stop me!" My voice squealed and she laughed.

"I'm gonna go get you something to drink and call James for you okay? I noticed that he called your cell a little while ago, so I'll just let him know what's going on and he can come right down to see you… and kiss you back to your health…" She said with a knowing smile as she walked out, I blushed pretty deep because if only she knew what his kisses did to me.

That's when my eyes caught sight of him, Edward, sitting by the door in the far side of the room. I gave him the best stare down that I had, how dare he? He cleared his throat a couple of times, I'm guessing he figured that I hadn't realized what I was doing; little did he know that I was putting a lot more feeling into this look than ever, the look of hurtful 'whys.' I don't know exactly how long I was staring him down, but I finally figured that I was finished showing him the hurt and anger and decided to go with the question that he never answered.

"What do you want Edward?" I asked, wanting to cut through the bullshit.

Before he could even answer, I noticed someone I had seen earlier today enter the room: James. I felt better already, so I propped myself up to a sitting position in order to be able to talk and hopefully kiss him. As soon as he saw me, it seemed like nothing could keep us apart and he rushed to my side.

"Bella… are you okay?" he said, with the concern obvious in his voice.

He bent down as if to embrace me, but stopped himself, so I pulled him down the rest of the way. I grabbed the collar on either side of his shirt and pulled him further towards me. I then touched the tip of my nose and he gently kissed it. When he pulled away he was smiling the brightest smile I've ever seen and I quickly returned it despite the pain in my face. We were sharing one of those moments when you feel that you can stare at someone almost forever, but it was suddenly broken by something moving in the corner of my eye. I looked over and Edward, he was standing, shaking and turning bright red.

"I'm sorry," He said so suddenly and had run out even faster than I barely had any time to really register what had happened. Rose mouthed an apology to us and walked out, James looked at me.

"What was he doing here?" he said looking a little upset.

"He was in the apartment. Rose called me a little after I dropped you off and said that he wouldn't leave until I spoke to him, so I thought I might as well get this over with, right? So I got there and heard someone almost yelling, so I lean in closer to hear what was going on. When I got to the point where I was leaning against the door, straining to hear Rose tear Edward a new asshole, I heard footsteps coming towards the door. Before I could react, the door opened and I fell nose first into the stone floor. Now I'm here. Edward helped bring me over I suppose." I said, summarizing my eventful morning.

"Can you do me a favor?" He asks looking straight into my eyes. "Can you please not see him alone? I mean if you have to talk, I'm okay with that. Just don't do it alone, please." He was being a lot more reasonable this morning, more than he had been last night so I had to give him credit.

"Yeah, I can do that. I just wish that I would've gotten this talk over with." I sighed.

I mean, I wanted to get it over with more than anything else, I would have to call Esme later and tell her about her son's antics, and maybe she'd be able to talk him out of wanting to talk to me. I just want to put this all behind me!

"Before I forget, I want to tell you something," I said almost shyly. "Edward's mom, Esme, is going to spend Valentine's Day with Rose and me. I just thought you should know before we even thought about making any plans, is that okay?" I asked.

"No, that's fine. I mean I wish that I could spend that day with you, but since you've made plans already, I understand. Are you and his mom close?" He asked carefully.

"Esme's amazing! So is his dad Carlisle, but Esme had been the one who made me promise that no matter what happened between me and her son that I'd still talk to her. I have to keep my promise, she's practically been a mom to me," I said with reverence.

"I'm glad. If she means that much to you than who am I to stop you, right? Just remember-" My phone rang just as he had started talking…

_You know I like my chicken fried_

_Cold beer on a Friday night_

_A pair of jeans that fit just right_

_And the radio up…_

James wasn't able to find my phone in my stuff so we just ended up letting it go to voicemail.

"So, who was that?" he asked. I began giggling and finally replied, "That was Charlie, my dad. I'll have to call him back later. My mom's ringtone is a lot funnier than that… well if you really know how she is, it's funny," I said, with a small giggle escaping my lips. When I looked up after I was done with my private jokes, I noticed that Rose had come back in with Dr. Rosenblatt, a doctor I worked with a lot at this hospital.

"Okay Bella, it looks like you're feeling a little better. Now because we have straightened your nose, it should be fine now. Just take the pain pills that I prescribed. Just remember that if you have any bleeding, extreme pain or discomfort in your nose, you should come back as soon as possible to have it checked out. Oh, and before I forget, I've already spoken to your boss and have excused you for a week from work. Now go home, get some rest and please, try to refrain from leaning on any closed doors!" He said with a smile.

"Thanks, Dr. Rosenblatt! I'm so sorry for being such a klutz and an inconvenience," I said a little bashfully.

"Don't worry about it! As long as you remain an exceptional phlebotomist and go on to become a nurse I'm sure that there will be at least one portion of your life where you aren't clumsy," he replied with a warm smile.

"Thanks! However, I'm not that bad in the kitchen either," I replied with a shy smile and the blood rushing to my cheeks "May I go home now?"

"Sure, as soon as the paperwork is done you can go home and please, I can't stress this enough- get some rest, okay?" Dr. Rosenblatt said seriously.

"Yes, doctor. Thank you," replying seriously too.

When most of the paperwork was finished the nurses said they'd take care of the rest and sent us on our way home. When I got home my phone started beeping saying that there was a voicemail, but it wasn't Charlie that had left it. Excused myself from Rose and James to get into the shower as an excuse to listen to this voicemail because only one person left me straight to voicemail messages: Edward. _Can't this nightmare be over already?_ I thought as I listened.

"Hey Bella, I just wanted to call to apologize for running out the way I did," He paused and I could hear the music blasting in the background… _Something takes a part of me; you and I were mean to be…_ He was listening to Korn again, which translates to, "I'm really mad and I really have no words or actions that can help me so I'm gonna try to go deaf by listening to this as loud as I can." Yes, it is sad how well I know him, but I loved him for so long, it was natural for me to get to know every aspect of him. He continued, "I can't believe that you, sorry, I mean I just can't believe that you've already fallen in love with this guy, you don't even know him Bells!" His voice became louder and louder towards the end. "Seriously, you don't know if this guy is a psycho or what and there you are letting him stay in your house and basically pimping yourself out to him…" He sighed, "Okay, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry it's just that you can't even begin to comprehend then things I felt when I saw you two together. Bella, you need to stop seeing this guy. Please, for me? I just get this really weird feeling when I see him, just please Bella for once put your pride aside and listen to me."

And just as easily as it started, the message ended. Well, Edward Cullen was once and for all going to listen to me, whether he liked it or not. This was finally the last straw. I jumped into the shower and let the hot water and massage setting work out the tension in my shoulders. Under the steamy water I began to plot every detail of what I was going to tell Edward, well detail everything, right down to what I was going to wear. Edward Cullen was going to regret ever leaving me and was going to regret even more bothering me after all that mess, without the help of my I got out of the shower, while I was getting dressed the phone rang again, it was my dad.

"Hi dad!" I said as I answered the phone sounding a bit nasally.

"Hi Bells, Rose asked me to call you. Is everything okay? You sound like you're sick."

"No, I broke my nose."

"You what? Have you called your mother? You know she's going to wanna know about this."

"No, I just got home from the hospital, and it's not like I broke my nose on purpose!" I replied.

"Sorry Bells it's just that you worry your mother and me."

"Well dad, that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you! Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and kill Rosalie for calling you."

"Hey, stop right there missy! You need to call your mother so that she won't kill me when she gets home tonight. Plus, she's working in Dr. Cullen's office today so it should be easy to reach her. Now promise me that you'll call."

"Yes daddy, I promise that I'll call mom." I said sounding overly sweet.

"Okay honey, I'll talk to you later okay? Take it easy and don't go breaking any more body parts before I see you again, deal?"

"Yes, dad. Love you, talk to you soon. Bye." I said as we simultaneously hung up.

After calling my mom and assuring here that I was okay, I went began to make my way downstairs. I had to tell both Rose and James that nothing was going to stop me from making this talk with Edward happen.


	12. Torn EPOV

Torn (EPOV)

After I peeled out of the hospital parking lot and sped around town a bit, I finally calmed myself down enough to go home. Victoria was home, but I wasn't in the mood to hear her questions or any of her crap. Don't get me wrong, Vicky was great and fun at times, but her problem was that she always hovered too much. Bella in the other hand, tried to cheer me up and if I didn't then she'd just leave me alone and let me be. As I walked into the house, I knew what was waiting for me before I even walked in.

"Where have you been?" Victoria asked, clearly showing that she was angry. "Your stupid dog has been whining all morning, take her out."

I opened the crate door and she ran downstairs, through her doggy door and into the yard to do her business. I turned to Victoria and said, "There, was that so hard?"

Victoria began to walk toward me, but I quickly slammed the bedroom door in her face, locking it. I turned on my computer and opened my music player. I turned on my rock playlist in order to drown out her nagging and yelling, and I began to pace around the room, in order to figure out what I was going to do next. I sat in front of my computer and stared at my cell phone. _Should I call or should I leave her alone? _My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a loud banging on the door.

"I can't stand your fucking dog following me everywhere I go. Open the damn door, she wants to get in," Victoria yelled. "I'm going out. I can't stand when you're in this fucking mood!"

I turned down the music just enough to hear her stomp down the stairs and slam the door on the way out, knowing her she was going to her sorority house to whine to her girlfriends about how I was the world's worst boyfriend.

Fuck it, like I give a flying fuck about what they think. I opened the door and let in my favorite girl, Lily Dog. We, well Bella and I, had named her so because Bella had really gotten into Sublime when we moved down here. She knew a couple of their songs back at home, but now had a whole collection of their music. Since the lead singer Bradley's dog was named Lou Dog, Bella thought it would be cute to name our little one Lily Dog. _Our little one… what a sick fuck I am_, I thought. Lily Dog stared at me with her big, sad, puppy dog brown eyes, and for a moment I could swear I knew what she was thinking. _Where's my mom? You know, the lady who used to take me out for long walks and to the beach or hiking, where is she dad?_ I couldn't stand this anymore. I turned away from her pleading eyes and turned the music back up.

I didn't know if Bella had gotten out of the hospital yet or if she'd even seen a doctor yet, because I knew that if we had been in Forks, my dad would have insisted in seeing Bella, fast. I figured that I'd send a voicemail from my phone to hers. That's one thing I loved about my phone, that and she'd know that I'd be the only person who would send her a message that way. Before I could even think about it my fingers were already doing the work on my cell phone and the automated voice was telling me to leave a message.

"Hey Bella, I just wanted to call to apologize for running out the way I did," I paused as I got up and walked away from the computer, because knowing Bella, just by the sound alone she could decipher what was going on with me. I couldn't really think of what to say next so I let the music play, oddly enough the words were exactly what I wanted to say… but couldn't …

_Something takes a part of me; you and I were mean to be…_

I started again, "I can't believe that you, sorry, I mean I just can't believe that you've already fallen in love with this guy, you don't even know him Bells!" My voice got louder and louder towards the end. "Seriously, you don't know if this guy is a psycho or what and there you are letting him stay in your house and basically pimping yourself out to him…" I sighed, trying to calm myself a little more, I mean, she _needs_ to understand.

"Okay, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry it's just that you can't even begin to comprehend then things I felt when I saw you two together, Bella you gotta stop seeing this guy. Please, for me? I just this really weird feeling when I see him, just please Bella for once put your pride aside and listen to me."

I hung up. She was going to be pissed when she heard that and I knew it. Hell, she has a right to be mad, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that he gives me when I see them together. _What, the feeling of finally knowing that she's no longer yours?_

I shook off that thought, _no that couldn't be it_. I didn't know how long I sat on the bed, switching between pinching the bridge of my nose to running my hands through my hair, and occasionally telling Lily Dog to lie down or to go to bed. I turned the music down when I got a text. I immediately thought it had been Bella, however, it was Victoria saying that she was spending the night at the sorority house. I tossed the phone aside. Lily and I went downstairs with the intention of going outside and playing catch for a bit, but it seems like the big man somewhere up there had different plans for me. When I opened the door, there was Bella with a bandage on the bridge of her nose, yet still looking breathtaking.

"Can we talk?" she asked before kneeling down and paying attention to Lily. "Awww, baby! I miss you too! How are you? Are you being a good girl?"

I saw how she interacted with Lily, like they had never missed a day of being together. Lily was shaking her tail so much, that I was afraid that if she put more force into it she might fall to one side or another, or even cut herself.

"Yeah, let's go upstairs." I replied as calmly as I could before turning and nearly sprinting all the way upstairs.

"Where's your girlfriend?" she asked almost nonchalantly as she reached the top of the stairs, looking around at what used to be our house.

"She's out with the sorority sisters." I replied. She suddenly pulled out her cell phone and began texting furiously.

"Okay then, we're going to wait for Rose to come in; I brought her along as a mediator… if you will." She said.

_Wait, what?_ My brain screamed; _this isn't how it's supposed to be!_

We waited in near silence, the only sound being Lily obsessing over Bella, just like me. The only difference is I couldn't beg her to return, she wouldn't want me anymore. Rosalie finally made her way up the stairs and sat next to Bella.

"I hope that you never look for her after you're done with whatever you need to say, or else I'd be more than happy to castrate you with my scalpel. That's all I'm going to say." Rosalie spat at me.

"Bella…" Was all I could say before she interrupted.

"No Edward, you listen and you listen to me well. I don't know what your problem has been lately, showing up at my house all the time, saying that you need someone to talk to. I don't know if you haven't noticed, but I'm not your girlfriend anymore and I deserve to live my life, to move on."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "So you couldn't stand that we never had time for each other, okay, fair enough. So you needed someone who was fun, spontaneous and sexy, okay, I can understand that too. You felt a need to cheat and then tossed me aside like some two dollar whore, I can't understand that. Here's why Edward, you could have talked to me, you could've tried to even communicate with me. You know that I know you well, and I would have listened."

She didn't say anything for a minute, I only heard her mumble something under her breath about good girls always wanting bad boys.

"NOW you're the one who's following me around, saying you need to talk, wanting to mend things. Sorry, homie don't play that! Who the hell do you think you're fuckin' dealing with anyway? I'm not Victoria, and I never will be. THANK GOD. So with that said, say what you need to say quickly before I decide to walk out. Trust me when I say this Edward, if I leave and you don't get off your chest what you need to, then that's too bad. I have spent too long crying, trying and wondering what the hell was so wrong with me in order for you to cheat." A tearless sob escaped from her throat, and I fought my urge to be at her side to comfort her. Instead Rosalie wrapped her arm around Bella's shoulder.

"Bella, I just want to apologize. I know that what I did to you was unforgivable," She began fiddling with the TV controller as I spoke. "I want to say how much I regret not only hurting you, but like you said, treating you like you were cheap. Those were never my intentions. I know that I can never take back or make the things I said and did go away, but I want to try to tell you that I just didn't realize what I was doing." I took a couple of deep breaths before continuing.

"I wish that you wouldn't hate me, and that I could still somehow be a part of your life. I mean, look at Lily, she missed you so much. I just don't know what to do without you Bella. I feel like I could kill myself over the things I did. Over not having you in my life anymore. Don't you understand that you're the only person for me?" Again, she interrupted me.

"Don't you understand Edward? Or are you just that plain stupid? I don't hate you. I just don't see how we can be friends or even acquaintances at the moment. I was hurt, badly hurt, over how you handled things, but c'mon, let's be realistic! Don't you think that I realized what was happening? How we were slowly drifting apart. How every little thing turned into a huge argument. I knew what was happening, but I just didn't want to face the music." She stopped. I felt the bile rise in my throat as I let the words slowly sink in. I ran to the bathroom. After I threw up mostly bile and water, Bella walked into the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Leave me please, Bella. You need to get out of here! I'm a monster, I'm ruining your life and I still won't stop. You need to leave, leave Long Beach. Don't tell me where you're going just leave! I need to end this all once and for all. End myself, by myself…" My voice sounded urgent, this was urgent. I also hadn't realized that I began to cry.

I went to the sink and roughly brushed my teeth, drawing blood in the process. I walked out of the bathroom and she followed close behind me. I stood in front of Rosalie.

"You need to take her away from here, Rosalie, do you understand? I'm a monster and I now know that I will stop at nothing to get her back. Please, do me this one favor and get her out of here now! If I try to look for her, don't tell me if she is or isn't home, let me believe she's gone." I pleaded with my red and watery eyes, and Rosalie just stared in shock.

Bella went into the bedroom. She grabbed a pen and a piece of paper, how funny that she remembered where everything was at. She quickly looked through her phone and jotted down a name and number, she handed it to me and whispered to give them a call. She kissed my cheek, said she was sorry and left.

Lily was in her crate, I can only imagine that Bella did this, and for the first time in a long time I let myself fall and cry. I cried for an immense amount of time until I realized that I no longer had tears coming out. I grabbed the piece of paper and looked at it. It was the number for the mental health department at Memorial.

Bella still knew me better than I knew myself, and she was right. I needed help because this certainly isn't healthy. I took a long, soothing shower and took Lily Dog out for a long walk to help clear my mind and hope for the better.

I was going to need to tell Victoria about it, and let her decide if she wanted to stick around or not. Chances are that she wouldn't, which would work out even better for me. Victoria was part of the poison that I had self-injected into my life. Bella was right. When Lily and I had got home, I refilled her water and food bowls, and she was so tired from the walk that she simply walked into her crate and quickly fell into a deep slumber. I wished I could do the same. I tried to find something to pass the time until I would finally be tired, so I began playing with my phone. The first step toward getting better would be to change Bella's ringtone. I know she'd pretty much castrate me if she ever heard it, so I played it one last time before deleting it all together.

_It's really good to hear your voice_

_Saying my name it sounds so sweet_

_Coming from the lips of an angel_

_Hearing those words it makes me weak_

_And I never wanna say goodbye…_

I was going to press delete when it started again. My phone was ringing.

"Bella?" I answered. _Sad to know that something as small as her obsession with ringtones was passed on to me._ I thought.

"Look, Edward, I know that everything that we needed to say wasn't said so if you want we can try and talk again, and I'm sorry for running out the way I did."

"Bella, please, I don't want to cause you any more pain. I know I played a big part in your physical and emotional change, and I'm so sorry that things ended the way they did. I just want to let you know that I'm going to try really hard to get better; I realized that you're right. My possessive feelings toward you aren't healthy and neither are my suicidal feelings. If I don't take care of them then I might do something that I regret. I'm sorry I hurt you the way I did, Bella. Just know that you will always hold a special place in my heart, you know, since you were my first true love. I love you."

Bella didn't say anything for a while, I began to panic, and then I heard it, her quiet crying. In my head they translated into screams and wailing.

"Edward… Thank you for finally giving me the closure that I so desperately needed. I just didn't realize that leaving things the way we did would cause something like this in the future, because I would truly like to keep you in my life, no matter how much I may deny it to myself. Just get the help you need now and maybe in the time it takes you to get better, we can maybe begin to talk again…" she trailed off.

"You know that you were my first of almost everything, but sadly not my first heartbreak and you also will always hold a special place in my heart. I'm just sorry that I will never get to be the mother of your children or anything like that. I hope that one day you will find someone who is worth it." This time it was my turn to start crying. "And always remember that I will always love you. Maybe not in the way we tried, but now as a good friend. Now we can finally stop running away." She sighed, she heard my crying.

"Thank you for proving to me that you are human, Edward, If not I would've kept living in a fairy-tale. Thank you for opening my eyes to how things really are, and thank you for finally showing me that you've hurt yourself too. I'm sorry, but I've got to go. I'm taking your advice and leaving for a few days. Please take care of yourself." She sighed and then hung up. But still I felt better, because I knew that I could fix things and then maybe one day we could possibly be friends. I slept better that night, knowing that I could be fixed. I didn't change her ringtone.


	13. Running Away

Running Away

By the time I got out of the shower I had already tossed my "idea" out the window. I thought I was going to be dressed nicely and do and say things to hurt Edward, but it was already more than evident that he regretted what he did to me.

_Maybe we both just need some closure,_ I thought. Plus my guard would somewhat have to be down if I was going to see my Lily Dog again. My little Lily Dog… how I missed her, no matter if she chose Edward over me. I went down the stairs to see Rose and James engaged in a conversation that ended as soon as I came into the room.

"James I'm going to take your advice and talk to Edward. I think the sooner I get this over with, the better it will be for everyone," I said firmly.

"Do you really think that it's the right thing to do at the moment? I mean Dr. Rosenblatt said you needed to get some rest," he said, sounding concerned.

"Well I think that I'll be fine, plus I'll take Rose with me to be a mediator in case his girlfriend isn't there."

"You don't want me to go with you?"

"Quite honestly, James, I'd rather not put anymore alcohol on the wound, if you know what I mean. Plus, I know that Edward would never physically hurt me… and even more so if Rose is there, okay?"

James turned to Rose. "Rose what do you think?" He asked.

"I think that Bells is a grown ass woman and is entitled to make her own choices. I mean if I had a guy that I'd be seeing for as long as you two have been seeing each other, I wouldn't even consider your feelings or thoughts on it. Consider yourself lucky!" Of course I could rely on Rose to be on my side of wanting to take care of things quickly.

"Alright then, well I guess just call me when you're done. I mean I should trust you to do this and just get the talk over. I'll talk to you later and just get some rest okay?" He said still looking over at Rose, I'm guessing, slightly scared.

I simply nodded as he got up, walked to me, kissed my cheek and left. I knew that he wasn't happy about it, but I really needed to get Edward outta my hair so what else could I do? After he closed the door I walked over to the couch where Rose was and plopped down. I sighed and Rose hugged me.

"Bells you have to get this done okay? I mean, the way things ended. It was not healthy for either of you, no matter who did what. You know that's big coming from me, but you can't keep running away from your problems, especially when they are asking to be mended." Rose looked into my eyes, I'm sure that she saw the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Let me just get some liquid courage and we can get going yeah? Oh wait, let me just take my dose of pain killers instead, I don't want my nose to get worse after today." I smiled with the tears in my eyes. _Only I could be such a klutz, _I thought_._

We arrived at Edward's house and as soon as I saw the front door, the last three years with him, every part of them hit me like a baseball to the forehead. I sat there for a minute soaking in all those memories. When we got our place, our dates, our rendezvous, and when we got Lily Dog. All those wonderful memories took me to the less pleasant ones and how everything tragically ended. That I was now standing on the same curb that he dumped me on, where I waited for friends and Rose to come get me and how I cried when I knew I wouldn't be seeing my Lily dog again. I was brought out of my own head when Rose closed her door and asked I was alright. I simply nodded my reply. _Okay Bella, it's now or never, _I silently told myself.

"I'll be here waiting for you in the car in case you need me. Just text me and I'll be there." Rose said behind me, I nodded again before walking toward the house.

I walked up the steps of the house we once shared on Termino Avenue, afraid of what I would think, realize or feel after this talk. To some extent, I knew that I would never be able to be with him again, but another part of me, the part that just couldn't hate him, still reserved some sort of feelings for him.

Before I even had a chance to knock, there was Edward with a tennis ball in his hand and Lily Dog in the background wildly excited, I wanted to cry. I asked him if he was available to talk and before he even answered, I bent down to give my Lily Dog a proper greeting. I know that she was as happy to see me as I was to see her. Edward finally answered that we could talk upstairs and next thing I knew he had bolted up the stairs. I quickly finished petting and greeting Lily and decided to follow Edward upstairs to talk. When I got to the top of the stairs, I looked around and everything seemed pretty much the same, the only difference was that I was no longer a resident of that house.

I didn't see or hear his girlfriend anywhere so I asked if she was around, unfortunately he mentioned that she was with her sorority sisters at the sorority house._ Great!_ I quickly thought. Then I remembered that Rose was just outside in her car. I pulled out my phone a quickly texted asked her to come in and mediate for us. Edward looked at me incredulously when I told him my plans. I'm sorry, but if I was going to be able to talk to anyone I was going to need reason on my side. My friends bring me to reason, or his girlfriend would've worked too. Rose made her way upstairs and found us waiting for her silently, well, that is with the exception of Lily, who since I had walked in had been all over me.

Rose, did I mention that I love Rose? If not, well I simply adore Rose. Before sitting down she gave Edward a warning and told him that if she'd be more than happy to castrate him if he doesn't leave me alone. He tried to talk, but I quickly cut him off and took control in the situation, letting him know that I'm not his anymore and to let me move on.

I had to take a deep breath or else I was going to get enraged and end up crying out of that rage. I went on to tell him how I could understand some of the things that he'd wanted, but did not understand the reason why he cheated on me and essentially tossed me aside like a whore without even trying to talk to me and tell me what was going on.

I stopped; see this exact situation reminds me of my favorite line from a No Doubt song, 'Why do good girls always want the bad boy?' I whispered the line to myself before continuing. Of course now he was the one following me, telling me he needs to talk and that Victoria doesn't understand, wait did I just hear myself say 'homie don't play that?' Oh well!

I kept going on and I suddenly realized that maybe I never was, and will never be what he wanted. A tearless sob escaped my throat as I sat down and let Rosalie comfort me.

When he began apologizing I began to play around with the TV controller. I didn't want to just say okay and run out without really giving him a chance. As he kept talking he said that he wished that I would hate him, I snapped my head up at that point but I don't think that he noticed. Then he said something that I'd never thought of: he thought about killing himself.

Why would he even think of saying that? I mean didn't he understand that I knew exactly what was going on at the end of our relationship? I realized that we were slowly drifting away from each other. We were quiet for a moment then he got up and ran into the bathroom. Right then, I asked Rose to take Lily into her crate in the bedroom. I followed him and watched him throw up. When I realized that he'd seen me, I asked him if he was okay. Edward was already scaring me, but he took it up a knotch. He said he was a monster and if I didn't get away from him then he'd never stop until he won me back, and that he needed to end it himself by himself… what the heck does that mean? I think that was the biggest thing that scared me aside the urgency in his voice.

He pushed me aside as he went to brush his teeth. I noticed that he was brushing them so hard that he was even drawing blood. He walked out of the bathroom, with me right on his heels, but only because I didn't want him doing something stupid.

He got in Rose's face to tell her that she needed to take me away, that if he tries to look for me she's not to tell him where I am or if I'm even in town. His eyes were red and watery. He looked crazed and Rose just stared, clearly not knowing what to say. At that moment I realized that this was also my problem, whether I liked it or not. Without really thinking I turned towards the bedroom, went to his desk; grabbed a pen and piece paper, looked through my phone and jotted down the number to the mental health department at Memorial. I told Edward that maybe they'd be able to help him, after all he did say that I knew him better than he knew himself. He'd soon realize that he needed to get help because this sort of behavior is far from normal.

I kissed his cheek, and said I was sorry for everything. It was my turn to get out. Rose took one look at my face and we ran out, she didn't say one word, and she just knew what to do.

We got home and I collapsed on the couch. I began to cry, hard. Rose didn't say a word, she just sat next to me and put my head on her thighs and then began to brush the hair from my face. I don't know exactly how long I cried, but I noticed that I was leaving a pretty big tear puddle on Rose's 'cheap' jeans. I was thinking about taking Edward's advice and leaving for a couple of days, but before doing that I wanted to know what Rose thought. My tears and sobs finally subsided after about five minutes of trying to settle down, and I looked up at Rosalie, and before I could even say anything, she simply nodded like if she knew exactly what I was going to ask her. I sat up and I looked at her, she pulled me in for a hug. When she pulled back she said in her most somber voice.

"If word gets out that I actually have a heart I'm going to stab you!" And before I even thought about it I was laughing my head off, it had been totally unexpected on my part.

"So do you think Rose, do you think I'll have a problem if I go and crash at Alice's place for a couple of days? You know…" The phone rang right at that moment.

"Hello?" _Who really calls our house phone anymore?_ I thought.

"I'd be delighted if you came to spend a couple of days with me, you know that I've been begging for to come for a while now!" Alice spoke in a somewhat high soprano voice.

I turned and looked at Rose who had her eyebrow cocked in curiosity, but right then she cracked one of her signature make-guys-not-pay-attention-to-where-they're-going smiles and says, "Fucking Alice! I was wondering when she was going to call!"

I had to turn my attention back to Alice who bluntly said, "Give the phone to Rose. You're going to get a phone call and you're also going to make a call, so just text me when you have your flight confirmed so that I know what time to pick you up. Bye Bells!"

I didn't even know what to say, I mean after years of being best friends with Alice, and I still haven't gotten used the fact that she sees the future. I huffed and handed the phone to Rose who was just waiting with her arm out. Sometimes I thought that Rose also had some sort of precognition power, but I just think that she understands basic human behavior better than the rest of us. Right then my phone went off:

_Earth to Bella_

_The world can be an unfriendly place…_

"Hi James," I answered, despite not really wanting to talk to him.

"Hi Bella, how did things go? Or did you even get the talk done and over with?" I sighed when he was done.

"Yes James, I spoke to Edward and things are now out in the open on both sides. And I think it would be honest of me to tell you that I'm not ready to have a serious relationship with anyone yet." I said.

"Do you want to be with him?" James asked.

"No, I don't want to be with him, but it's hard to act like I never loved him in those almost three years of being together, the truth is I will probably always love him, just not in the same way I did. I don't know if you want to deal with that at all, you know with the fact that no matter what happened between us I'll always hold a special place in my heart for him and for what we had." I thought James was going to end whatever it is we had at that moment.

"I'm amazed by you Bella, and I will wait for you as long as you want me to wait. I think that if you'd let me, I could become your everything. Just remember that I'm here for you whenever you need a lover or a friend."

"Thank you, you're pretty amazing yourself. I also wanted to let you know that I'm going to have to bail on our date but I'll take a rain check if I can. I'm going to Alice's for a few days just to get my mind wrapped around everything that's happened. I hope you don't mind."

"That's perfectly fine, just promise that you'll take care of yourself and that you'll be careful with your nose." He says in a fatherly voice.

"Ootay!" I say in my highest pitched kid voice, just to hear his full-bodied laugh at the other end of the line.

"Okay Bella, take care of yourself, and I'll hopefully talk to you soon, bye."

"Bye." I replied quietly. I put the phone back on its cradle and went upstairs and begin to pack, planning to look for a ticket after I finished.

Right then, I thought about talking to Edward. I didn't really give him a fair enough chance to finish talking and I should give him that at the very least.

When he answered the phone it seemed like he had been waiting for me to call since it didn't even fully ring one time. I explained why I was calling and said that I was sorry for running out the way I did and for not letting him finish. I also mentioned that I could go back in order for us to finish talking. I looked out the window to see that it had already gotten dark, _maybe not…_ I thought.

He was being sincere when he said that he didn't want to hurt me anymore, that he knew that his suicidal and possessive feelings weren't healthy, and he said he loved me. I began to cry again, this time, silently.

I told him that I wanted to thank him for finally giving me closure, for making me realize that love is not just some fairy-tale and for showing me that he had feelings and was human. Finally I told him that I was taking his advice and leaving for a few days, maybe things would start looking up when I got back.

I ordered my tickets the moment I hung up. No time to waste. Being with Alice and Jasper for a few days would certainly be better than running away for good…


	14. Use Somebody

Use Somebody

I was brought out of my daze by a voice from the loudspeaker,

"We will be landing to our final destination in about 5 minutes. Once again we'd like to thank you for flying Jet Blue. Welcome to Fresno." The voice said. It's funny because the flight felt like 5 minutes on its own. I was looking around and an elderly lady in the middle seat smiled.

"You dozed off sweetie; you looked so tired that we didn't want to wake you," she said pointing at her husband, as he too smiled warmly at me. I smiled back.

After an uneventful landing, we all flocked to the baggage claim area like sheep. I knew that our bags weren't on the belt yet, so I began to look around, standing on my tippy toes, checking if Jazz and Alice had arrived yet. Out of nowhere I saw them, a tall handsome blonde and next to him was a dark head of spiky hair jumping up and down, clearly looking for me. Jazz saw me and led her to me. As soon as she saw me she began shoving people out of the way in order to get to me faster.

"Bells I'm so glad that you decided to come and spend some time with us! You're going to have a blast!" She said hugging me tightly. She didn't let go for at least five minutes.

"I'm sorry to interrupt the pow-wow, but I've got Bella's bag now, maybe we can continue this at home?" Jazz asked smiling.

Alice, as always, was talking so animatedly and non-stop through the ride to their place that I found it hilarious when she asked me why I wasn't talking. Their apartment was about 25 minutes from the airport and 5 or 10 minutes away from campus. It was simple, yet lavish at the same time. Because it was a two, I clearly saw they were still putting up appearances that they weren't "sleeping together." After a very quick tour of their place and the complex, Alice stopped me in front of her apartment.

"C'mon, you can shower later, let's go see this shit!" She said in her most serious voice.

I feigned being hurt, sniffed myself and replied, "Why, do I smell?"

She laughed and yelled toward the door, "Jazz, I'm showing Bells the campus. We'll be back later. LOVE YOU!"

She dragged me toward the car and we took off for campus.

She gave me a general tour of the school and then we went into their area where they have a bowling alley. It was so fun and cheap that we played two games and had some junk food along with it. At the end of our second game, Jazz called to see what we were doing. He wanted to know when we were going to go back because we had been gone for a while.

When we began to head back to their apartment, a slight breeze had begun which slightly cooled the night air and I welcomed it warmly. I was surprised that we had avoided the subject of what brought me there so far, but I knew that I wouldn't be so fortunate for long. We got back to the apartment just as Jazz was leaving for a couple of hours for his study group. I promised him that we wouldn't get too crazy tonight and that I'd be taking care of his girlfriend just in case.

"Bella, something's been bothering you all day despite my attempts. Tell me what's going on. Please?" Alice looked into my eyes and I almost broke down.

"I'm worried about Edward," I replied simply.

"Why what's wrong with him? Is it something that he can come back from?" Alice asked.

"I think he may have some sort of psychological problem. Some sort of personality disorder maybe, I'm not sure yet. But he scared me Alice. No matter what happened between us, I would beat myself up if something ever happened to him because of me. I mean we both knew that there was a point in time where we were both happy and in love for that matter. I don't know, it's just so odd knowing that I won't go back to him," I said waiting, half expecting for the tears to fall.

"How do you know so much, I just thought that you were going to let him get what he needed to say off his chest and then walk away?"

"I was, but I realized that I still love him in some way. I mean not in the 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' kind of way, but I want to be there for him in any way that I can. I just know that he's mentally off, you know? Not in a schizoid sort of way but in almost can't deal with realities and such kind of way," I said, showing concern to someone about my ex for the first time ever.

"So you give him some electroconvulsive therapy and TA-DA! Good as new right?" She saw my eyes beginning to water as she said, "Oh shit, Bells. I was just kidding. Really I don't think that Edward's that sick okay? Just let him see a doctor and get these things taken care of. You'll see. Before you know it he'll be back to norma,l or should I say closer to his old self, okay?" She said as I began to cry.

For the first time since Edward and I had broken up, I cried like a baby, I cried about everything. I cried because of everything that we had together had been thrown away due to the problems that both of us refused to deal with. I cried because I felt that I had tried to be too strong in the past 8 months, that I never really gave myself a chance to grieve. It had just been anger and I was tired of being angry. Finally, I cried because didn't know what else to do with my feelings and emotions. I wanted to be there for Edward, but wasn't aware of how to do it without hurting him or myself in the process. My sobs finally subsided to just to sniffles in a matter of minutes, mainly because my nose was beginning to burn.

"Do you feel better? It sounded like you've been keeping a lot in Bells. Why didn't you tell anyone? You know that Rose and I are there for you unconditionally, why couldn't you tell us that you were hurting? Or better yet, why didn't you just let it out?" Alice asked as she stroked my hair away from my face and helped wipe my tears as I lay in her lap.

"Thanks, yeah I feel a bit better; I didn't know that I had so much built up in there. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't realize how much I had built inside of me and I didn't let it out because for the past 7 months or so all I thought that I felt towards Edward was anger and hurt. I never really thought about crying or anything like that. I just don't know where I dropped the ball and closed myself up. For that matter I don't even remember the last time that I laughed and did something just because I wanted to. It's been doing things that other people want to do or if not trying to enjoy myself but not being able to because all I can do is think of him," I said, ending with a long sigh.

"Honey, Rose and I won't judge you if you're in pain. We just want to see you move on in a healthy way, not jump to the next person. When you didn't do that, when you didn't move on at all, we both got a little worried. That's exactly why we may have pushed things a little bit for you when you began to see James. How's that going by the way?" Alice asked like she knew. I knew that she knew but I'm sure that she just wanted me to simply tell her.

I took a deep breath and held it in. "I dunno Ali. After I got home from the hospital, when I broke my nose, I sorta may have blown him off. I don't know if he's prepared to deal with someone who's so unstable like me, you know? I really like him though, and he's really understanding about everything that's been going on. I don't know I guess it's all up to him and whether he thinks that he can handle the bad past that I have," I said looking up at her.

She smiled down at me.

"Well I wouldn't worry about this little speed bump, trust me. You two will be back to normal in no time at all!" Her eyes glazed over for a moment and I just waited. "Yeah, I wouldn't worry about him being mad at you, in fact I would be expecting a call soon." She finished with her knowing-everything-all-too-well smile. Smart ass!

We chatted until Jazz came home around 2 am, we talked about everything. My terrific nose break, my talk with Edward and she even came around to not make any comments about any therapies that he may need, seen as to how the first comment had upset me.

I walked into 'Alice's room' after we all finished chatting and got ready for bed when I finally checked my phone, I didn't think I was ready for this. Even with a magical eight ball like Alice, you still tend to think the opposite is going to happen. I saw that I had missed a call and had two text messages, I checked the text messages first since they were easier to reply to. The first was from Rose asking me to check in once Alice had left me alone. I'm glad that those two knew each other and that they became friends, I don't know how I would've survived the last eight months if they hadn't.

The second text was from Edward, thanking me again for putting my personal feelings aside and genuinely trying to help him. He also mentioned that he thought that I would become a great nurse. He ended that his therapy would begin on Monday with Dr. Zamudio at the hospital. I quickly texted back that I was glad that he was finally getting help and to let me know if there was anything else that I could do in order to help him.

Finally there was the voicemail. The missed call was from James so I already somewhat knew what to expect. He said he wanted to talk to me, it didn't matter what time it was he just wanted to hear my voice, I figured that there was something else behind it so decided to call him in case there was something urgent he would want to talk about.

"Huh, hello?" He answered sounding groggy.

"Hi James, you said to call you no matter what time it was, but do you want me to just let you go and we can talk in the morning?" I asked, concerned.

"No, no I'm up." He groaned into the background, "How's Fresno so far? Are you having fun?" he asked.

"Well sort of, Rose is emailing me my homework and other stuff to do while I'm here, but things are going easy so far. Alice showed me the campus today and we went bowling. Hey, did you know that they had a bowling alley in their campus?" I asked him, I was clearly amazed by that simple fact.

"No, I didn't know that, but it's cool that they do," he replied.

"I'm sorry I'm boring you with nonsense, what's going on? I mean, what's so important that you wanted me to call you, no matter what time it was?" I asked, a couple of minutes passed (at least in my brain) before I heard anything.

He took a deep breath and held it in, "Bella, I don't know exactly what you feel for your ex still and I don't know exactly what you feel for me… but I can honestly say that I feel like I'm falling in love with you, all of you. And I just want to know if you could possibly maybe one day feel the same thing for me or if I'm just going to be wasting my time. I don't like the thought that could be playing games with my heart because I'm giving myself, my true self to you. I could understand if you think it's too soon but…" James stopped as I interrupted him.

"James, you're not making any sense really, I'm sorry but you should know that my intentions with you at the moment are simply to get to know you better," I said. I was answered with only silence. _Shit!_

Out of nowhere I begin to hear him laughing, not chuckles or something that may resemble laughter, but full-on hearty laughter. "Uh, did I miss something? Or are you simply loosing your rocker?" I asked.

He kept laughing but in between he managed to choke out, "Did you hear what I said? I said quit playing games with my heart. What the hell am I now, a damn backstreet boy?" I had heard the words but I didn't really process them in that way until he mentioned it. I began laughing with him.

"So on a serious note, you really were serious with what you just said and with what you said in Long Beach? You know about waiting?" I asked feeling extremely hopeful.

"I am very serious about what I tell you, with the exception of the quit playing games with my heart thing since I was the one who put it out there and laughed about it, but yes, I am willing to wait for you until you're ready to have a relationship and no matter what I'll be here for you as whatever you may need me to be," he replied.

"James, I know that I probably say this a lot, but I want to thank you for being so understanding. I hope that you understand too that I care about Edward's well being no matter what happened between us."

"Well to tell you the truth I wasn't jazzed about the idea that you still may care for him, but you said it yourself, he holds a special place in your heart because he was a lot of your firsts and because you thought that you would one day marry him. Then I began to think of how if things didn't work between us, I would like us to be okay. I would like it if you still cared about me as maybe a person or a friend. So I totally can't fault you for being the good person that you naturally already are," he explained.

I smiled even though I knew he couldn't see it.

"Thanks James. You really are pretty amazing. I wasn't just saying that for shits and giggles. Anyway I should get going because it's almost four and I know that Alice's going to have me running around town with her like some lost puppy looking for her mother! Oh, and before I hang up, I'll be back in town next Monday so maybe we can talk about the rain check at that time? As far as me, don't worry, I'm in good hands with Alice and Jasper. I'll keep in touch, and James," I paused to see if he was still listening after my rant.

"Yes?"

"I can't wait to see you again. Good night," I said.

He sighed before saying, "Good night Bella."


	15. We Can Work It Out

Ch. 15 – We Can Work It Out (BPOV)

The following day was spent as I had predicted, running all over town with Alice. It started out as doing various errands with her, but then we ended up at the mall… oh the horror! If I ever said that I liked shopping I must have been on crack. Now don't get me wrong, I like shopping, but shopping Rose's style. Rose picks out whole ensembles for me to choose from and I pick the ones I like the best. That's my kind of shopping.

Now with Alice it's a completely different story. So we were at the mall for hours at least three hours, gosh I was ready to kill someone; of course, not Alice because Jasper and Rose would both murder me in return, it would be the never ending cycle. Around 4 p.m. she received a mysterious phone call and said we just had to get back to the complex because she was in dire need of a drink. _Who the hell was making her a drink?_

We arrive back home and she makes another phone call and we waited. Her friends Emma and her wife Bailey show up and begin making the drinks for us. Emma was great, she was telling her story of how she came to America from Scotland when she was nineteen and how she fell in love with the weather in Fresno and decided to stay. Now she's been extremely happy with her wife and their two kids.

I went on to tell the girls that I lived in Long Beach and they raved about how great the Gay Pride Parade was there. I said I had tried to get my ex to go with me one time because it was only two blocks from our house but he was afraid that some guy would hit on him. Honestly I was too, but it was all about showing support for people's rights. The girls had been very generous with their liquor, and by the time that Jazz got home we were buzzed. Alice and Bailey had opted to drink margaritas while Emma and I opted for beer. I never was a mixed drink kinda gal.

"Jazzy you're home!" Alice screamed as she saw Jasper walk in.

"Yo Jazzy baby, what's up?" Emma yelled toward the door.

"Hi Jazz," Bailey and I said soon after.

"Hey girls what's going on? What's up with you girls drinking and already getting buzzed this early in the day?" Jasper asked with curiosity.

"We're trying to get Bella acquainted with Emma and Bailey. I thought that if I added alcohol in the mix, then Bella would begin to spill about what's going on in her love triangle," Alice blurted out. _Great!_ I groaned internally.

"What are you talking about Alice, jeez are you that drunk already? Damn!" I said as I tried to play it off as if I didn't know what she had been talking about before Emma and Bailey began to inquire.

"Well you know, it is 5 o'clock somewhere!" Alice said a little too loudly.

The girls, Jazz and I began laughing, before I added, "Yeah, Alice, It's past 5 here sweetie. Maybe you should begin to lay off the booze!"

A phone rang in the distance, and Emma got up saying, "Aw, bloody hell!" in her very thick Scottish accent. _I had to admit, it was kinda hot. Better yet, maybe it was the booze talking. _Emma finished her phone call and returned to "Margaritaville" as Bailey and Alice has christened Alice's kitchen. Before I knew it, I was bombarded with questions.

"So…" Emma began slowly, "What's this love triangle thing that Alice mentioned earlier? Is that why you're here, ducky?"

"Yeah, are there two guys fighting to be number one in your life? Or is there a lucky girl possibly involved?" Bailey asked.

I took a long swig from my beer and asked for another.

"No, Alice just thinks it's a love triangle because my ex-boyfriend, who broke up with me over seven months ago, is now trying to talk to me like he wants me back. Problem is, is that he's got some… mental health issues, if you will, and because he was my first love, well, I naturally still care about him. However, that does not take away from a guy I met at a party last weekend. James. He's funny, kind, caring, and most of all I think that he's beginning to fall for me hard. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place though."

"Oh god, babe, I'm off to hang with the boys, any more estrogen and boy talk and I think I'll become gay!" Jasper said, as he began gathering his things and quickly walked out the door.

We began to laugh so hard after he walked out that Bailey said, "Wait, don't start up again until I come back! I gotta go pee!" And we all continued to laugh as Bailey ran towards the bathroom. When Bailey came back, I was ready to continue. Frankly, it felt good to be able to talk about it to someone who didn't know both people.

"Okay babe, go on." Bailey said with a big smile.

"Well as I was saying, I think I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I mean, I want to be able to help Edward get better, but I don't want him getting the idea that we'll be getting back together after, because we're not," I was reasoning it out in my head as I spoke.

"I also would like if James completely understood where I was coming from, but I think that if I help Edward, it's going to hurt any chances that I may have with James. I'm just not sure if I can handle this kind of stress right now." I said slumping into my chair.

"Well let's just start this story from the beginning. How about that love?" Emma asked.

"Okay, well I began dating Edward when I was in college. I moved with him from my hometown of Forks, Washington out to Long Beach. We were together for a few years and everything seemed well, until he cheated on me."

"He WHAT?" Bailey and Emma both yelled.

"I love you when get that reaction," Alice slurred.

"Wait what?" Emma turned to Alice, as she swayed to the music playing in her head.

"I think she means that she loves when people have that reaction to that part of my story, right babe?" I quickly said, before thinking that all she needed was one more drink and Alice was gonna be done!

"That yah!" Was her somewhat understandable reply.

I finished telling the girls the whole story, from the beginning, as they'd requested. Emma agreed that there was definitely something wrong going on with Edward, and they also agreed that I should just take it slow with James.

Alice had class the next day, and I didn't know how she would survive with the massive hangover that she woke up with. After sleeping in, I spent the rest of the morning doing the homework that Rose sent me. I was so into my homework that I jumped when my phone began to go off. _C'mon Wembley!_ Followed by the amazing guitar break.

"Hey stranger, it's been a while," I answered.

"Hey little, how ya been?" Emmett replied. I bet Alice tipped him off. Damn shorty!

"Good," I lied, "How are you big bro?"

"Oh not bad, just broke up with what's her face that you didn't like, so I thought I'd give you the news myself before mom called you," he hesitated… there was more, and he just didn't wanna tell me.

"Listen, whatever's going on, you're free to tell me. You know that right?" I said.

"Yeah, right… I just, I need to get away from here. I think I wanna move out there." He said almost in a rush.

"Wanna move out where Em? Don't tell me you wanna run away from your problems, cos you know nothing good will come from that, right?"

"No Bells, I'm not running away from anything. I just think that it would be a good idea for you to have your big brother bear around, okay?" He said with a huff.

"Okay, what's going on? What did Alice tell you?"

"Nothing…"

"Emmett Alexander McCarty Swan you answer me right now!"

"Okay, okay, jeez you sound just like mom when you do that! She just mentioned how Edward was trying to get in touch with you and I figured that if I was around then maybe he'd leave you alone. You know, seeing that I can break him in half like a twig. Besides, I already have a place and everything all you gotta do is be in town by the time I get there which should be in about 2 days from now."

"And what, cut my vacation short? I was taking time off from everything remember? Also Emmy, I think it would be good for you to finally lay off the 'roids, it's not good for you!"

"Shut up, you little heartbreaker you! Well I think it's time for you act like an adult, grab the bull by the balls… or whatever."

"Okay ogre, I'll see you at home then."

"Okay mini baby Bell, love you."

"Love you too, bye"

After this wonderful conversation with my ever so nosy brother, I was ready for a nap, but first I had to change my fight itinerary so that I could be home to greet my annoying brother back. While I was finishing up with my e-mail to Rose about my abrupt return, I received a text.

_Hi… so um… I had my first sesh today. –E monster_

_Oh hey, how'd it go? –rock the __**bells**_

_It went alrite I guess. Jus a lot of wrk 2 do. Lot of change to b done. –E monster_

_Edward, y do u have 'E monster' as ur sig? – rock the __**bells**_

_Well Bella, I could ask u da same thing –E monster_

_Yeah, well I don't call myself a monster. Look I'm worried bout u, really. I jus want u 2 get better. – rock the __**bells**_

_I kno, I'm sry. I'm being an ass. I have tht cos tht's how I feel rite now. Doc says it's gd 2 express my emotions. –E monster_

_Yeah, like I've been telling u all along rite? Look, I hate 2 cut this short but I gotta finish with some things but keep me updated on how the sessions r goin' k? – rock the __**bells**_

_K Bella. Thnk u… 4 everything, really. – Wardo_

_Hey u changed your sig _ _ & no prob, really. – rock the __**bells**_

That evening I thought about my text exchange with Edward and came to the conclusion that I thought things were getting better, slowly. Once things were better for a while with him, I'd talk to him again and hopefully he would understand that how no matter how much he gets better, I can never go back to him. It would go against everything I believe in. I just want him to understand that I'll always be there for him, but only as a friend.


	16. Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay

I know i don't say this much, but someone please let me know if you're still reading. If not, i probably won't keep updating this account.

Not mine. If it was, i probably wouldn't be writing fan fiction.

* * *

Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay

The next two days were a blur with trying to get everything set up to go back to school, spending time with Alice, Jazz, Emma and Bailey, and finally talking to Em off and on, trying to get more information out of him. Before I knew it, I was already back at the airport, saying goodbye to Jazz and Alice.

"It was so good spending time with you baby Bell," Alice said grinning.

"Yeah, I had a lot of fun. Thanks guys! You really helped me get my mind off of stuff," I said contentedly.

"Don't be a stranger, now that you know where we're at. Just give us a call and we'll be more than happy to have ya here," Jasper said with a knowing smile.

"Okay," Alice began, "Em has a lot to tell you so just try to stay open minded and as far as Edward goes, well just don't give up. Love you Bella, Call me when you land."

I was going to ask Alice about everything she'd just said when the ominous voice spoke over the loudspeaker: 'Flight 325 to Long Beach is now boarding, please have your boarding pass and ID readily available. Thank You.'

"Well, that's my call. I'll talk to you soon!" I yelled as I walked towards the door.

The flight, as before was boring, but before I knew it the pilot was asking us to put our trays and seats in the upright position because we were about to land. I knew Em wanted to pick me up, but I wasn't sure what happened with him since he didn't call me to find out my flight plan. On the other hand, I told Rose about it, so I could at least expect her to be here. I grabbed my bag from baggage claim and went to the front of the small airport. I took the time to send Alice, Jasper, Em and Rose a text.

Just landed. – rock the **bells**

Thanks for letting us know! – Alice in wonderland

Alice just told me, thanks. –the Jazz man

No worries guys – rock the **bells**

Shweet, give me your address, I'll meet ya at your house – **Em**inem

K Em, 1532 Bellflower. Apt. 6 ;) see ya soon – rock the **bells**

I'm just pulling into the airport keep an eye out for your cherry bomb – Rosa fierce

I see you Rosie! – rock the **bells**

I put away my phone as Rose pulled up to the curve. I hopped into my Tahoe, throwing my bags in the back seat. Rose and I stared at each other for a moment before going in for a hug. We'd never admit it to each other but the truth was we missed each other, even after just four days.

"So… anything new?" Rose asked.

"Not really. Um, my brother Em moved down here from Washington. That's about it. Well, no, I spoke to James and exchanged texts with Edward," I waited.

"Go on." She replied.

"Well James and I had a conversation about relationships and I told him that I wasn't ready for anything serious, so he said he was willing to wait for me. As far as Edward goes, he only sent me a text telling me that he began going to therapy. Group therapies, I believe."

"Whoa, whoa, so what's wrong with him? I mean what's the official diagnosis?" Rose asked; her interest suddenly piqued.

"I dunno, I mean, I didn't ask him. I just wanted to know that he was doing it and was okay with it. He just said that the doctor had told him it was going to be a lot of work and there were going to be a lot of changes happening," I shrugged.

Rose fell silent after that and I looked out of my window, losing myself in my thoughts.

- One year earlier –-

"_Edward, that's the third job you've lost this year. I mean, really, what do you expect me to do but pick up overtime? Don't tell me that you expect me to pass it up, and tell Mike that we need another extension to be able to pay rent again," I began raising my voice as I lost my patience._

"_Well what the fuck, Bella? I can't just work for people who are morons, I mean seriously. Ugh, you don't fucking understand. Fuck this. I'm out of here…" I stared at him. "What? Don't fucking look at me that way," he sighed. "Don't wait up for me," he said as he grabbed his jacket and slammed the door._

"Bella? Hello, earth to Bella. Come in Bella!" Rose said, waving her hand in my face.

"Huh?" was the best reply I could come up with.

"What's going on kid? It seemed like I lost you there for a minute. What's up?" she asked.

"Nothing, no really, just thinking about the past. Things I shouldn't even be really thinking about, it's just

that it's coming back to me and I can't stop it. Like the memories are trying to tell me something, but I just can't decipher it just yet."

"Whoa, who's that hot piece of flesh out from the complex?" Rose asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Rose!" I shrieked. "That's my brother, eew! How could you even say that?"

"What Bella? He's hot!" She wiggled her eyebrows. _Oh man, here we go. Lovely_. I thought as I groaned aloud.

We got out of the truck and I practically sprinted to the front of the complex. I ran straight into my brother's arms, jumping on him. He caught me effortlessly and swung me around. He laughed and, for a minute, I could've sworn I was in my dad's arms. Our little moment ended as Rose walked up to us, her heels clicking on the concrete. Emmett put me down and I noticed that he was more than openly gawking at Rose.

"Close your mouth honey. You'll have flies going to your brain. God knows that we need to save as many brain cells are left in that tiny brain of yours," I said laughing.

"Shut up Bella!" he replied as he blushed and nudged me; I flew into the bushes. "Hi, I'm Bella's semi-respectable big brother Emmett."

"Rosalie Ann Hale, Bella's roommate," Rose replied, feigning boredom.

I brushed myself off coming out of the bushes, "Rose, play nice," I warned.

I began to walk towards the front door while Emmett and Rose were still having their moment. Rose suddenly began walking behind me.

"Well aren't you coming?" she said turning her head back seductively at my brother. He hurried to catch up to her. Fuck he's gone.

I spent the better part of the next three hours trying to ignore my brother trying to impress Rose. I guess he really came to see her instead of me. I began to drift into my own thoughts again, trying to block out my brother's conversation.

- Two and a half years earlier –

"_I love you Edward. Thanks for understanding, just know that this job is a great opportunity for me, for our future," I said as I put my arms around his neck and leaned in for a kiss._

"_I know Bella. I just sometimes wish I could keep you here all to myself," he replied after returning my kiss._

_I leaned back to look at his face, "Edward, you know I'm yours. I don't want anyone else."_

_He grabbed my hands from the back of his neck and removed them. "Let's go to bed, baby. It's getting late and I want you nice, and rested for your first day at work," he said kissing both my hands._

"_Okay, let me get ready for bed," I said as I turned, and ran towards the restroom. _

_Tonight was going to be special. I had been debating as to when I would be wearing the little number I bought a couple of months before at Hustler's. After brushing my teeth and slipping into the barely there blood red outfit, I walked slowly back into the room and peeked my head in before revealing everything. I wanted to make sure that I had Edward's undivided attention. _

_He was looking at some papers, and had his black rimmed glasses on. Gosh, he looked hot. He looked up feeling my eyes on him. He took off his glasses and set them aside on the nightstand along with the papers. I walked into the room feeling self conscious when I noticed his jaw drop. Oh yeah, it's on. After playing in bed for a while, we both fell fast asleep._

_In the morning I awoke feeling wonderful, sadly I also woke up to Edward in a horrid mood. I look to the floor and notice my red barely there nightie in shreds; I then also begin to notice the bruises that were showing up in my right arm and both my legs._

"_I can't believe you made me do that," Edward spat. "I hate you."_

I snapped myself out of my daydream and to notice Emmett staring at me with questioning eyes. I mumbled something about not feeling well and went upstairs to my bedroom. I locked the door, and took a pain pill intending to go to bed with my iPod. I wish I knew exactly why I was having all these flashbacks, and what they meant. I don't recall how long I laid in my bed listening to music and ignoring my brother knocking on my door, but eventually I fell asleep. I awoke a couple hours later to find that my iPod died on me and several messages on my phone. I opened the door and listened for any activity downstairs .When I didn't hear anything I decided to go downstairs to get some food.

I was warming up some frozen burritos when I heard, "What was all that about Bella?" Rosalie stood between me and my exit from the kitchen.

"I assure you, I don't know what you're talking about Rose," I replied smoothly.

"Bullshit! Something's up and I know it," she said with conviction.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked, ignoring her.

"He went home. He wants you to go look for him when you're ready to talk," she said as she glared at me.

"But I don't know where he lives. How am I supposed to go to his place, unless he left his address with you?"

"Bella, I swear, sometimes you don't realize how thick you can be, do you?"

"What are you talking about Rose?" I asked feeling really confused.

"Remember I told you the apartment down the hall had been rented? Well I just came to find out that your hot piece of a brother is the one renting it. He was trying to tell you, but you were all wrapped up in your thoughts," Rose explained.

"Oh, right." I sat down feeling dumbfounded. "I'll be back then." I got up and walked to the door, knowing that I'd pay later for avoiding her question.

Talking to Emmett was like talking to dad, awkward and useless. All Em kept saying was how he should go to Edward's and beat him down to a bloody pulp. _Yeah, like that would fix everything._ When I got back home, the lights were dimmed, and I figured that Rose had already gone to bed. I walked upstairs to finally check my messages.

Doc says she'd like 2 talk 2 u about what's going on with me. –Ed**wardo**

Mini, r u ok? u spaced out 4 a while n then somewhat freaked out. Talk to me. –**Em**inem

Ur having those flashbacks 4 a good reason, u'll see when u talk 2 the doc. –Alice in wonderland

Hey, I guess u're not willing 2 talk rite now so jus come over when u're ready. Rose will explain. –**Em**inem

Edward told me what he did honey. If you want to kill him I'll get the shovel & plastic bags for disposal. Carlisle is willing to help. Call me later. –Esme Elizabeth

After reading the last text message from Esme, I decided that I'd respond to everyone except Emmett tomorrow, since I'd already spoken to him, and was not really feeling up to telling him how Edward treated me at times. I fell asleep with a smile on my face because aside from the great text from Esme, I felt like things were soon going to clear up thanks to Alice's little insight.


	17. You & Me & the Bottle Makes 3 Tonight

Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, it really means a lot to me that you all are still reading this.

As always, it's not mine. I just love using these well-known characters. The idea, however, is mine.

I'm on twitter, go follow me! devilsgenie - i answer tweets!

Also, my ficwife (LiveInDakota) and i have written a new story, it's called Hurricane. It's on here under the sn devilsliveindakota. Go read and tell us what you think!

Lastly, Happy Birthday to my sis, jakeward. You are the Rob to my Lizzie. I love ya hard, girl! SK&C

Now onward!

* * *

You and Me & the Bottle Makes 3 (Tonight)

The morning came too fast. I was reminded that it was still the weekend, so instead of getting up early I just lazed about and took my time getting up. I had a lot of things to take care of, so I got up and got my laptop from my desk. I decided to start by sending Edward an email in regards to his doctor.

To: Edward M. Cullen

From: Bella M. Swan

Subject: Doctor

Hey,

I wanted to ask you what doctor you're seeing so that I can get in touch with him/ her/ it? Hope all is well, take care of yourself. By the way, you mom sent me a text last night. She says if I ever wanna kill you, she'll be there with a shovel and bags to dispose of your body. Apparently your dad is willing to help too. LOL. Don't take it personal, you know she loves you.

Take it easy,

Bella

After finishing with the email I decided to call Esme. It was the least I could do for her after everything that she's done for me, and is willing to do.

"Cullen residence, Esme speaking," she answered.

"Hey mom! It's Bella, how are ya?" I said cheerfully.

"Well from what I heard, doing better than you, you know I told Carlisle about what Edward did, and he wanted to fly out there to in his words 'open a can of whoop ass,'" she said laughing.

"Wow. Carlisle really said that? Awesome!"

"So I wanted to check on you and see if we were still on for Valentine's day?"

"Oh yeah! Do you mind if my roommate Rose joins us? She said she's got nothing going on and she'd like to spend the day watching cheesy romantic movies and eating junk food."

"Okay honey, then I'll go ahead and book my flight. I'll send you a copy of the itinerary once I'm done okay?"

"Yeah, sounds good. I can't wait to see you, I miss you."

"I miss you too Bella, I'll see you soon okay? I love you honey. Goodbye."

"Love you too, bye," I said before hanging up.

I was about to close my email and turn off my laptop to get some breakfast, but I saw that Edward had responded, so I went ahead and read it to see what he had to say.

To: Bella Swan

From: Edward M. Cullen

Subject: RE: Doctor

I'm in a group therapy, but the doctor's name is Dr. Zamudio. Apparently she's pretty new at the hospital. She's looking forward to talking to you. By the way, I'm going to tell my mom that I'm going to disown her and dad for that comment! Ha-ha. I'm doing okay. Victoria and I broke up about three days ago. I didn't wanna say anything because… well I don't know why I didn't tell you, but I think it was a good thing, at least for me. Lily dog and I are better off that way.

You take care too,

Edward

When I closed his email, I saw that Esme had purchased her ticket and sent me the itinerary.

To: Isabella (Bella) Swan

From: Esme Cullen

Subject: FWD: Your Jet Blue Travel Reminder

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If your travel plans have changed, don't forget to let us know. Manage your flight online, it's fast and easy.

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Arrive in Long Beach(LGB) at 09:30 PM

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Mon Feb 15 3419 Depart Long Beach(LGB) at 12:25 PM

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Copyright © 2009 JetBlue Airways

- TrueBlue - Corporate Travel

JetBlue Airways, 6322 South 3000 East, Suite G10, Salt Lake City, UT 84121

**Carry-on Baggage Rules:**

Passengers are prohibited from taking liquids, gels, and/or aerosols through the passenger screening checkpoint into the sterile area EXCEPT one clear transparent re-sealable 1 quart (1 liter) size plastic bag containing liquids, gels, and/or aerosols in travel size containers (3.4 oz. /100 ml) capacity or less per container. The contents of the plastic bag must fit comfortably and the plastic bag must be completely closed/sealed and subjected to x-ray inspection separate from passengers' carry-on bag.

Passengers may have the following items, but must declare them to TSA at the screening checkpoint if not contained in a clear transparent re-sealable 1 quart (1 liter) size plastic bag and/or the size of the containers exceed travel size (3.4 oz./100 ml).

a. Baby formula/milk (to include breast milk) and baby food/juice in containers if a baby or small child is traveling

b. Medications (liquid, gel, and aerosol)

c. Liquids (to include juice) or gels for diabetic or other medical needs

Passengers may be subjected to secondary screening if they enter the screening checkpoint with liquids, gels, and/or aerosols on their person or in their carry-on bag.

*** Reservations are subject to cancellation if the customer is not present at the departure gate at least 10 minutes prior to scheduled departure. **

*** Due to duration, movie selections will vary according to length of flight. **

After finishing up reading Esme's itinerary and writing a quick reply, I shut down my laptop and wrote myself a quick note on a sticky to remind myself to call Edward's doctor. I was reaching the bottom of the stairs when I heard a knock at the door. Rose came out of her room, and when she noticed that I was close to the door she asked me to get it while she went to 'beautify' herself. My stomach rumbled as I opened the door, and there was Emmett with two bags that read Roscoe's House of Chicken 'n' Waffles.

"Good morning little angry hobbit version of my sister. Can I come in?" he asked as he looked behind me when Rose came to see who was at the door.

"No!" I said as I reached for the bags and Rosalie closed the door on him.

"Aw, c'mon girls, my breakfast is in there too! Let me in Bells, please? I promise to play nice. I swear," he groveled while he banged on the door. "Bella, c'mon OPEN THE DOOR, DAMN IT!"

After a couple of minutes of hearing Emmett grovel, and nearly getting him to cry, Rose and I finally opened the door only to find him on the floor like a little boy throwing a temper tantrum.

"Come in you big baby!" I laughed. "You know, the door was unlocked the whole time you were crying."

"Wait a minute, it was?" Emmett asked, as he lifted his head from the ground.

"Yeah, do you think we'd be evil enough to deny anyone some chicken n' waffles?" Rose asked.

"Maybe… no… I dunno, I'm hungry, I can't think!" he said sounding exasperated.

After eating a wonderfully delicious, and not to mention greasy breakfast, we sat around the coffee table and planned out our days. Emmett wanted to see some of the sights, and wanted us to hang out with him. I told both Em and Rose that I had to send in my homework before the next class and had to call Edward's doctor to make an appointment with her to speak to her and then I'd be good to go. Since I had turned on my laptop to send in my work to my professors, I decided to go ahead and email the doctor while I was at it.

I have to admit, spending the day with Emmett and Rose without having to think about anything else because Emmett had made me leave my cell phone at home, turned out to be very therapeutic. Even considering the fact that we just 'had to go shopping' according to Rose. I swear, that woman has me buy anymore clothes, and we're gonna have to get a bigger apartment just to have the closet space!

I managed to get through the day without thinking about my nose, the weird flashbacks or anything else. That is, until Rose mentioned James to Emmett. At first Emmett wanted me to call him so that he could pull dad's scare tactic on, and interrogate him. Luckily Rose and I were able to talk him out of it and it made me think that I should probably quit avoiding the first date, and should just go for it.

A few hours later, there I was feeling like a teenager going to prom all over again. With Rose fussing over my brand new lavender satin cocktail dress, the silver satin pumps with a tiny bow at the toe and my makeup. Not to mention having Emmett peeking into the bathroom every few minutes, pacing and saying that this guy better be as good as we described.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang, and we heard Emmett's large footsteps rush to get the door. There was a faint sound of a conversation, and I asked Rose to hurry.

"Beauty takes time Bella. Plus, this will be a good time for Emmett to get to know James, and figure out his intentions with you. Let's just hope that James is smart enough not to say something that will get him killed," Rose said with a huff.

I felt like that girl from 'She's All That' as Rose introduced me, and I descended the stairs into the living room. James and Emmett were both standing, and Em was the first to walk up to me.

"Bells, you look beautiful. When did the ugly duckling become a swan?" he asked with a chuckle at his own joke.

"Oh my dear Emmy, you're just jealous because I make this," pointing at my outfit, "look good!" I said with a wink.

"That's true. It does look better on you than it did on the mannequin." He said looking thoughtful.

I said hello to James, and he complimented my outfit. I then turned to Rose and Emmett with a laugh, "Mom, Dad, don't wait up for me!"

As James and I walked away from the apartment to have our first date, I faintly heard Emmett say, 'They grow up so quickly.' It was followed by a big smacking sound and Emmett saying, 'Ouch Rosie, that one really hurt!'


End file.
